since lowering my dose of meds from 20 to 10mg of citalopram (since new year) today I was a difficult difficult day.
i had a difficult customer on the phone, who was very rude and argumentative. towards the end of the call I was nearly crying, my manager was listening into the call when she heard things were getting heated. after the call she asked me what happened. she came over and i literally couldn't speak i was holding back a massive breakdown. i literally said a rude word in frustration and my manager said go take a break.
i ran to the staff toilets hoping no one would see the tears appearing from my eyes, and I was literally crying soo hard I was wretching over the toilet. thankfully knowone else was in the toilet. i couldn't breath and I started to get anxious. after 20 minutes i was able to wash my face and act like nothing had happened. but when I walked back in the office a few people asked if i was ok, my close colleague could see it in my eyes id been crying. i don't know why but i just didn't want people to see me in that way.
i started feeling 'low' again on Sunday at a family get together. Im just hoping i can keep things together cos I don't know how many more times ill be able to pull myself out. i could go back to therapy but really dont want to. if i get signed off work like before mum and dad just don't get it and will tell me to find somewhere else to live. i feel weak and havent washed since saturday. there were moments at work yestrday where i thought I'd be better off taking an overdose of my meds so i wouldn't have to suffer. Im just not sure how I can make life more bearable? maybe it's the meds maybe it was just a bad day. can anyone suggest how to ease the constant headache?
I'm new here , seeking help... TRIGGER WARNING
I give up (HUGE VENT AND POTENTIAL TRIGGERING WARNING)
Mute. ‘ Trigger Warning’
*Trigger warning* Horrible 
Binge drinking Trigger Warning
I think this is about their problems but the service you provide is to allow them to express himself/herself - which is important but important is finding alternative solutions/answers and you have to distance yourself from their responses which may be anger. You have to control your emotions but if you can't it is OK as long as you don't explode - I think you did very well - you can conquer and will find better ways to react - to say things- practice what situation you would like and remember you are very important and can do anything you want/bend the situation to your will!