Where to start?

[12345XYZ]

Can someone help me understand where to start with everything?

I have suffered with suicidal thoughts on and off for several years and cannot ever shake the feeling that I am not really happy inside.

Outwardly I try my best to be outgoing and sociable but over the last few months my drinking, smoking and painkiller use has been increasing more and more and I find I am making stupid mistakes regularly and this is effecting my marriage.

This has resulted in my wife telling me that if I don't get help then it may be the end for us as she cannot cope with my moods and vices anymore.

I don't know who to speak to or how make the first step.

Can anyone suggest something please?

Thank You

[F10NA2]

Hello

Firstly it's amazing that you are asking for peoples opinions on here. I understand how difficult it can be with the suicidal thoughts, have you any idea of why you feel that way? Have you had any professional help/support over the years?

Xx

[12345XYZ in reply to F10NA2]

Hi, thank you for responding to me.

I do not know why I have dark thoughts like I do, they just seem to come and go and I am left feeling like everything is pointless.

I have had no proffesional help or support. It is not something that is very easy to talk about and the way i was raised it is very frowned upon to even mention anything mental health related.

I feel silly even admitting on here that I feel different to how I should.

[F10NA2 in reply to 12345XYZ]

There is no right or wrong way of feeling. Now a days there is so much support for our mental health, back in the day people suffered because they could not talk about it, please please speak to someone. I'm currently in touch with Minds matter, I have also spoken to people at the charity Papyrus, they have been in touch via email asking how I am, giving me information for who to get in touch with in my area. Life is difficult and that's why some of us really struggle but please know you are not alone in this, if ever you need to chat about anything, feel free to message me on here. Sometimes speaking to the ones we love is the hardest part, speaking to someone who you have no emotional connection to can sometimes help x

[12345XYZ in reply to F10NA2]

Thankyou.

I will look into Minds Matter and see if I can use that.

Thank you for your offer for messaging as well, I really appreciate it.

I really like the idea of talking to a stranger as I cannot face telling people close to me. x

[Hidden]

Contact your family Doctor, take a list with you, that will help you cover what is wrong with your mental health. Your Doctor will arrange a pathway for you to follow

BOB

[Hidden]

Sounds like u have taken the biggest step..ur here with all of us.

We r all here to help.

Do u have a gp u can call n see?