Dead man walking.

[Phillipaussie]

Trigger Warning Don't know how to go about this.my wife got cancer 8 years ago.

She survived.

8 months after she got a secondary.this time she is terminal and wasting away.

My family member is a research nurse.

At a time when we both needed support both reeling from the news.

Family come in and explain things apparently told by the doctor to do this.

With the promise of access to treatment my wife fell under the spell of this family member.

Within days my wife moved in with this family member and she took my wife's life over.

Now too scared to upset anyone she tells me she not coming back.

The whole family have banded together and actively avoid me.

I have been financially emotionally and socialy held to ransom.

My head says kill yourself.

I am a suicide survivor. Took a lethal dose of 2 drugs one stopped the other from killing me so I found when I came too with a broken back.

The suicide was 26 years ago and I have managed.

Never ever disgust this or my suicide with anyone.

Now I can handle most things but all this happened on the eve of our 13 wedding anniversary.

I have 2 adult daughters in Australia. My place of birth.

A granddaughter I'm yer to meet and another on the way.

My passport expired 7 years ago and instead of going home every 2 years.made my wife's recovery our priority.

Now she has gone.but is back several times a week.

Visiting.telling me how sick she is.

I fell ill with a legacy of my finst suicide and am still not well physically.

I had to stop work 3 years ago and my wife dismisses my illness outright.

I feel like a prisoner and have had family make threats.

My wife wants to live in our home on here own but that is no longer possible due to her treatment.

I have no money no passport no way out.

I am a hostage to my wife's cancer.

My wife was lost the day she got her diagnosis.

Family are cashing in on the confusion my wife has.

I insisted that with a mobility score of 2 that my wife have someone with her as she stumbles.

A family member insisted she didn't need a wheelchair and that she should walk.

That resulted in a serious fall and injury.

Please I am desperate. But I'm stuck in between life and death.

Not spoken to a soul. Outside hospital visits in months.

I just need a rest but can't manage that either.

I've been well and truly used.now the money has gone. I'M IN THE WAY.

[PNIAuthor60]

I cannot imagine the horror that you describe, are you designated as her substitute decision maker? If so, that should give you a foundation to work from.

Can you speak with her physician directly to determine what he actually said - curious that he did not discuss these things with you as her husband. Is he even aware of what has happened or the fall that she has had.

Don't listen to your head, your life has value in spite of these things happening. If you share the home and it is in both of your names, seeking legal counsel would be a step, without money as you describe perhaps a paralegal if available. Do you attend a church, perhaps your Pastor could assist you/support you with these efforts.

What supports can you rally for yourself, as your own stability is important.

Please check out the Pinned Posts for avenues to explore in the midst of this crisis you are in the midst of. It is not your wife's cancer you are prisoner to but perhaps misguided family attempts to help which is questionable if they do not believe she needs supports indicated.

It is a healthy step to finally break your own silence and share your own suicidal experience, our silence is what imprisons us when we try to manage it all on our own for whatever reason. Please take care of yourself, get proper rest, eat nutritionally and if able, get some fresh air and exercise.

Does the area where you live offer any respite? Perhaps with your wife living elsewhere, you could finally get some much needed help for yourself - of course you are the only one who would know this.

I wish you well, please come back as often as you wish - this is a safe place to be authentically you whatever that means.

[Hidden]

I know it's hard, but can you not bring your wife back or can you face living alone. Lots of visits, is the best option. But other than that to look after yourself. Give yourself time to adjust to these many changes, take care of yourself properly. Talk to doctor about your situation whether you can get a carer in or around your wife and self. The social services can arrange these things quite easily perhaps give them a call to find out about carer, it may be for few hours or 24/7 care. Best to seek some advice on your situation.