I know there are people on here with worse things going on in their lives. But on Sunday and yesterday I felt really exhausted, mentally drained, wanted to sleep but could not switch my brain off. I am worrying about a number of things and I feel I have no one to speak to. I have a good job and earning well but feel really sad today. For the first time in a long while I actually feel lonely. I went to bed last night with the telly on just so I could hear voices. I just had this overwhelming feeling of not wanting to be on my own. I feel really scared today and am just on my way out to work. I feel like I just want to put a duvet over my head and sleep and cry!
So sorry for being miserable today but really needed the release!
Thanks!!
XXXX
Written by
En1234
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17 Replies
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En
Peoples fears and concerns are really part of their lives and are personal to them, given that I can understand how lonely you feel although like everyone on here feel you concerns and relate to your fears.
You need to be able to understand why you feel the way you do and able to release the negative feeling you are suffering from.
If you need support and gain understanding your GP may be able to help you, You need to talk we are here and will try and help. Remember at times we all feel the way you do, and you have many here that may be able to help
Thank you for your kind words Bob!! The problem here is that I cannot get an appointment to see my GP for at least another 3 weeks, which I think is an absolute disgrace. I think I know what the problem is although I am too embarrassed and ashamed to post. I "slipped" into old habits at the weekend and I feel utterly disgusted with myself, given that I have been doing so well!!. The summer is over, and the weather is getting rubbish again and I cant help feeling that there goes another summer with no holiday and nothing to look forward to. The flat is still needing things done to it and even though I am earning again, I cant afford the kind of work that needs doing. I have been working really hard in my new job but still finding it really hard to sleep and now with the weekend's antics I feel I cant sleep for the guilt. Apart from coming on here, I literally don't have anyone and the sad thing is I seem to be there for a lot of folk when they have a problem but when its my turn....??? Sorry I know I seem as though I am just suffering from "Poor Me Syndrome" but at my age I should be a bit better and a bit more thankful. I will try harder tomorrow, I promise!!
Hi Bob!! My son is fine although he is going to be a constant worry in my life. I am told this is a "mother's job". I am only glad that I have one child to worry me as I don't know how I would cope if I had more than one. I don't know how women with more than one manage..... or maybe I am just not very good at it. I am 53 and have worked full-time all my life from the age of 16 and even at the times when I didn't have a job I made a real effort to get another one and I always did, and it was always better than the last!! I always wanted him to "have" and to prove that even though his father wasnt there.... I was and I was doing my best by him. My son is now 20, still lives with me and has gone back to college. He receives a bursary and is looking for a part-time job although still to find one. I don't take any money from him as I think he earns little enough. So you can imagine how low it makes me feel to hear him say that our flat is too small for 2 people and that he is sick of it. I have told him that given the fact he has been living rent free for years he should be grateful to have a room to himself and a roof over his head. I know I have spoiled him but I did what I thought was best at the time. I did feel I had to over-compensate because his father left when I was still pregnant. He grew up without a father but I was the one who felt guilty for that and to this day, still do. My mother has told me that I have always had a chip on my shoulder about this but to me, it feels more like a 10 stone bag of potatoes!!
Sorry Bob, I am ranting again. I am off to work now, so hopefully I will have a good day where I can concentrate on other things!!
I LOVE what you told your son when he complained about the flat!! 🤗. He'll eventually appreciate everything you've gone through in raising him. Unfortunately, our kids don't usually "get it" until they have their own kids. Then it's THEIR turn to sacrifice and worry like we do.
I use guided meditation or nature sounds and relaxation at night. I put it on when I go to bed. If I wake up during the night, which happens every night, I just put another one on.
I think depression can be very much a disease of loneliness, at least it is for me. It hits me like a ton of bricks. I isolate myself, feeling like no one else wants to hear about it. Just opening my eyes in the morning can be a disappointment, and it feels like it's never going to end. But it always does. It's ok to acknowledge how you feel. Depression makes those things we are worrying about seem insurmountable.
Do you journal? When I'm completely overwhelmed and I feel like the misery will just explode, I write it all down. I rant and rave...using very unladylike language. By the time I've gotten it all out, the problems have lost their power over me and there's room for solutions.
Thank You. I know you know that I have been really doing well so I am embarrassed that you are even reading this. I feel like a bit of a fraud now. I hope I don't disappoint you. I know I have really disappointed myself and have always had a problem with self-forgiveness. I know that we can all make mistakes but when you make the same on every few months then that just makes me really irresponsible. I have just come home from work and put the telly on and I feel so sad for the people in the Bahamas, who lost homes and loved ones due to the weather. I just keep thinking that all the things we were told about God has all been lies. I am even beginning to doubt my faith.
Tomorrow I will try and see my glass as half full and even with my flat falling to bits, at least I have one that still has a roof and is keeping me and my son safe.
I very much agree and relate to this. I was my own worst enemy..... I had support that I didnt let myself get. Once I tried opening up to 1 person it eventually became easier to talk to counselor and other family & friends too. I learned were all just coping on diff levels... and it has helped me to not feel lonely anymore!
I wish that I had the wise and magical words that could restore your faith and give you the ability to see that half full glass. All I can tell you is that during my "Dark Times" ( that's what I call them), I concentrate on making it through the next minute, hanging on by my toenails. It feels like torture. Without being aware of it, I'm getting through the next thirty minutes, then the next day. Then that half filled glass shows up in the fog, getting clearer and clearer. It even has ice cubes in it!
Faith is an easy thing to have when that glass sits in front of you. During the Dark Times, concentrate on the belief that you can make it sixty seconds longer. Or thirty seconds longer if it's REALLY dark!
I know the feeling, it's bad when your like that but the good thing is you have found this
site. We are all different but what each feels can be overpowering like there is no one understands. This site is great for support , you don't have to keep it to yourself you can vent on here or ask advice or even if you want just chat about anything.
You are not alone we all help where we can do it you want to chat just message me or anyone on here. We all need help at some stage even if it's just a chat. I know I am glad I found this site it help me when I am down.
1. You are not alone 2. You have some support on here! You can talk to me, personally anytime. 3. Dont ever feel like your battles are less then everyone else. 4. Feelings of depression and lonelyness are awful! I have been in that state of mind MANY times. 5. Is there any one you can talk too? Friend, family, counselor?
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