Hi, I've just joined and very new at this.
Life feels pretty hard at the moment, I'm divorced, no children, have been for a about 6 years now. I look around the people I know and it's hard as I'm one of the few who are single, feeling a bit rubbish about myself and distant to connect with others.
Writing this at 3am as I can't sleep. I'm generally fairly ok, but for a few months now I seem to have lost direction. Not sure if that makes any sense??
Hi and welcome bluefishboy.
Makes sense to me, and I’m sure lots of us here.
Sorry to hear of your struggles but glad you found us here.
I learnt a lot from reading posts here. Really helped me better manage things.
THings can and do change for the better
😊🌻🌻
Hi Olivia40.
I appreciate the welcome and assurance. I'm looking forward to sharing and being a part of this group.
😊🌻 your welcome
Hello Bluefishboy,
Welcome to our supportive community. Well done for taking a brave step out of your comfort zone to reach out for help. You are obviously having a difficult time right now, but hopefully, you will find folks here are only too willing to come alongside you and share from their personal journeys and experiences. If you haven't done so already, do go and have a chat with your GP about how you are feeling as there is a range of treatments that you can access when the time is right for you.
in the meantime, do check out our Pinned Post section for free mental health guides and other useful information.
As you live in the UK keep these crisis support helplines handy:
**New** Give us a shout for support in crisis: Text 85258 (24 hrs support) giveusashout.org/
The Samaritans Tel: 116 123 [24 hours line]
NHS: 999 [Emergencies]
NHS 111 [Non-Emergencies]
MIND UK charity: Helpline Tel: 0300 123 3393 info@mind.org.uk Text: 86463 mind.org.uk/information-sup...
SANEline Tel: 0300 304 7000 [4.30pm – 10.30pm daily] sane.org.uk/
Keep in touch and let us know how you are getting along.
Best wishes,
MAS Nurse and Moderator
Hi MAS_Nurse,
Thank you for your welcome and support. I appreciate the links you've enclosed. I know this will help me in sharing things. I have been to see my GP, who was helpful. Thanks again.
All I can really suggest you look for clubs and societies where you will meet people very much like yourself. I do not know where you are in the World or how old you are, you need diversions in your life where you can be introduced to people who are lonely like yourself.
There are many Dating Agencies out there where you can meet other people who are also wanting to find new partners to interact with.
Your real problem you are dwelling on the past and your views and expectations are not being met, you seem not to have anything to fall back on and you are becoming insular in your own way.
Your Doctor may be able to help, a period of Therapy may help you gain confidence to move on within a new circle of friends
BOB
Hi Borderriever,
I'm 47 and live near Cambridge.
Thank you for sending me a reply.
I appreciate your comments and advice.
I have been to see my GP who has given me something to help with depression, since my divorce it has taken me a bit of time to get through this as unknown to me my ex wife was having an affair which turned out to be my then neighbour. I found them together, her words she wanted a younger model...
Anyway, sorry to go on. I haven't really said that to many people...
I appreciate that I can here...
You look after yourself Bluefishboy.. Life can really be stressful when changes affect your relationships. I know from experience when I was ill, was always worried my Wife would move on and that concern stayed with me for many years. I do not know what to suggest although eventually you will become stronger as you move on through life and its unpleasant shocks and surprises. You will move on and be stronger. You will meet people who will help you and given that you will meet others who are in the same position as you find yourself in And then be able to move on together
All the best
BOB
Bob, You always have such encouraging words. I love your heart and how blessed this world is that you are in it.
Hi Bob. Thank you so much for your reply. I appreciate what you have said.
Do you mind me asking where in the UK you are?
It is something that I do want to move on from. I naturally am a social person, I don't like being on my own to much.
I know I need to, to help myself...
One thing, which didn't help. When we sold up everything, she filed for divorce, on the day the divorce was granted. She thought it would be funny, to send me a message saying... you wonder why I left you??? Well he's 10 years younger then you, loves sex with then enclosed a picture of him naked.
Words can really be hurtful as was the photo. Sorry, I hope it was ok to share this with you. To be honest, I haven't told that to many.
I appreciate you replying, I'm so glad to have found this space, where I can say things as I feel able to...
Chris.
We are on the English/Scottish Border, we look into England and Scotland together, BlueFishboy. People can be cruel, I had one Partner who was a liar by profession. I could not get rid of Her, she would follow me around and Stalk me. Rather uncomfortable. Another one was mentally ill and ended up as a patient on the long term, that was an experience. So I know how you feel and how distressing it must have been for you.
It is important you give yourself time before you move on, you will find many people out there who are not that nasty, Yes life is hard and you need to be patient
Try not wearing your heart on your sleeve, some people look for that type of person and will hurt and bash you down, be cautious you will find that right person whose idea of love is just a game. Life is not just about looks, relationships should be for the long term.
We have been together now for over forty years, we married late as some would have considered. It was the time to trust in those days, Be cautious
BOB
Thank you for your advice and for sharing your experience with me. I will take on board your comments.
Much appreciated...
Chris.
Oh, it makes sense. I'm glad you found this site to vent. Everybody needs a place to freely vent. I've been married 42 years and though we've had some hard knocks along the way, I thought we always had each other and our love for each other. We were seen as a strong couple that has stayed together through thick and thin. And we have, I found out about 1 year ago my husband had started seeing a woman at his work. It took me several months to prove it. I made him leave, let him come back. I forgave him. Then I found out he had been with her again. We're still together, he's been good to me, but the overwhelming sadness of his betrayal weighs like a concrete slab on my heart. Privately, I cry every day. Every day. This depression will not go away. I guess my point is you can be lonely even when you're with someone. We have grandchildren, a busy house with kids coming and going. It looks like an all american life on the outside. On the inside grandma is dying of a broken heart. Love is a gamble. Love is pain. And love is beautiful when it works.
Hi MsTree, thank you for replying to my message, I am very pleased to have found this place where I can be completely open and able to vent as you say. If you don't mind me asking, where in the states are you?
Thank you too for sharing, I can't begin to imagine how you cope in this situation, I will say though, you are such a testimony of will power, strength and encouragement to others.
Bless you for that!
For me, I tried to talk openly with friends I had at the time how things went wrong between myself and my ex. We had been together for 16 years and married for 12 of them. I was completely lost and in shock. A couple of friends stuck by me, but found things hard as well.
I moved away soon after as it was a small town and just couldn't face seeing my ex with this guy.
I don't regret the time we had together, I just wish we could have talked at the time.
Thank you again for your message and openness to your experiences. I really appreciate your honesty.
Best wishes, Chris.
Arkansas
So lonely
Feeling vulnerable
Sad, lonely and depressed. 
Feeling Down Really...
Feeling worthless and hopeless following breakup and job loss
