When will it go away?: Hey...I was... - Mental Health Sup...

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When will it go away?

Hope07 profile image
5 Replies

Hey...I was raped 2 months ago and I'm still not feeling any better. Not even a little bit. The nightmares, panic attacks, PTSD. Everything is just as bad as when it happened. Shouldn't it be at least a bit better by now? It's been 2 months after all. And when will it to away?

I can't tell anyone, report him nor get professional help for various reasons. The biggest reason is that the rapist is a family member.

Thanks for your help.

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Hope07 profile image
Hope07
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5 Replies
EleanorRose profile image
EleanorRose

This is a hugely traumatic experience and there is no time limit on when you ‘should’ feel better by.

You do need to get some support for this. It is not your fault and you do not have to face this alone, nor do you need to protect anyone else. Please confide in someone.

I’m not going to tell you that you have to report this person as I realise that might feel difficult right now. However, you can still seek support for your mental health.

Mental health professionals/counsellors/doctors etc are bound by confidentiality rules and their sole aim would be to support you. They cannot make you report this and they can’t report it on your behalf. There will be no judgement and they’re not there to tell you what to do, just support you, If you really feel like you can’t speak with family and friends and do not feel ready to report this , I urge you to seek professional support for your mental health. It was really courageous of you to share what happened on here with us. You could even take this with you when you go to seek professional support if you are unsure of what to say to begin with.

This has been a terrible, terrible experience for you and you don’t deserve to suffer anymore. Get the help that you DESERVE. This is not your fault.

I don’t know where you are from but in the UK there are some excellent charities who deal with rape and sexual assault and will be able to provide you with the support you need. I’m sure there is similar in other countries too.

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Hi the simple answer is it won't go away and unless you deal with the fallout and seek help it will poison your present and continue to pop up in your future. It's not something you just get over and forget about.

I know what I am talking about as I was raped 35 years ago and every detail is still clear in my mind and I can never forget it. However I sought help and learned to live with it. That's all you can do.

Ideally you need to report it which will help you, but obviously with a family member it is very difficult. Do you have other family who will believe you and help you with this?

The first thing you need to do though is to protect yourself from him and never go near him again, and certainly never be alone with him if you have to see him. The second thing to do is contact a local rape crisis centre who will help you with the trauma. This would be confidential and they won't put pressure on you to report it or anything. Do what you need to to stay safe. I slept with a knife under my pillow for a good couple of years afterwards (my attacker broke into my home and attacked me with a knife at night). I did report it but he was never caught and charged. Even to this day I sleep with a light on.

I am not going to recommend you report it to the police as this is totally your choice, and the concensus these days seems to be that that most women lie which is dreadful, and the reason why it is reckoned 9 out of 10 women don't. Attitudes are very old fashioned still which is totally wrong though I will say the police were very good with me but I had evidence which is a different matter, you don't.

Seek help though and protect yourself and keep yourself safe. Oh and one last thing it was 100% NOT your fault no matter how or under what circumstances it happened. He made a choice to rape you so no guilt hey! Hugs xx

Lilmis profile image
Lilmis

Hey sweetie, look it happened to me that when I was younger but not by a family member that is hard :( but trust me you can go to a dr explain what had happened and that you need to seek professional help they won’t go to the police unless that is something you wish to do x or have you thought about some Samaritan over the phone help you could be a complete stranger - be anyone you want to be name yourself your middle name x or fav character but they are there to help and talk things through also x just a suggestion xx

If it makes it any easier it helps in time just not straight away but getting professional help will help in time x never straight away :( I know that’s not something you want to hear right now x

Gambit62 profile image
Gambit62

Hope07 - I recommend that you try contacting these people

rapecrisis.org.uk/get-help/

MamaBear78 profile image
MamaBear78

I beg you to get help! I am you... from 6-12yrs old I was molested and raped many times from a cousin. Yes, someone (a few adults) knew, except my parents.

I have manifested into someone with high anxiety and depression. I WANT THIS FOR NOBODY!!!!! Some days the flashbacks take hold of me and I can't get out...then I lash out at my husband and kids. Unfortunately my "family" said I must have done something, even though he was doing this to others.

I like others did not come forward because it's 'family, now at 40 I'm finally realizing with therapy it's not my fault, it's not your a either. We didn't ask or want it!!!. Don't let family keep you from feeling or getting your mental health in check before ugliness rears its head❤

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