When will it end

Everyday feels like a new battle everyday seems to get harder

Im so depressed and the loneliness is killing me. Iv tried to reach out to people who i thought were my friends but no one seems to care. How do i cope with having no friends iv had a look at the meet up links and it just seems scary. Everyone locally is friends but no one wants to be my friend i dont know why

5 Replies

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  • Hey,Muslim, its a scary thought but all human beings are essentially alone although when depressed that loneliness seems worse. There is just no way that the conscious ,unconscious and subconscious whirl of thoughts that go on in a mind can ever fully communicate with other minds. Speech , literature,facial expression and the rest just can't keep up. Maybe our minds have evolved further than is good for them.

    Just remember that the best and wisest friend anyone ever had is probably inadequate when it comes to curing depression, unless possibly they devote their lives to you and thats too much to ask of anyone. Would you want to burden anyone with that,anyway ?

    So where does that leave me and you ? Well ,continue to look for friends who despite what I've said will be of some help. A cuddle and a kind word will always help a bit. You will eventually find someone although as you probably know loneliness is becoming one of society's big problems. You're probably much younger (I'm 73) than me and have a good chance of finding good friends (be patient). Don't overdo the search or its less likely to happen but there will be people all around you as lonely as you who would be glad of a friend and you'll find some . Just keep being kind and patient with others.

    Until then rely on your own courage and resolve , your best two friends. There are several people who want to be your friend and eventually you will find each other. It won't be long.

    Olderal

  • Hi muslin I think there is a lot of truth in the saying 'Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone'. Don't forget everyone has their own problems and a lot of people don't know how to react about depression.

    My advice to you is not to try and tell others unless you are sure they will care and want to hear. I have found that people just want to enjoy life. Don't forget friendship is give and take and other people's problems can be very draining. Do you feel you are able to be a good friend back to those you try to talk to? Like I said - give and take.

    You have us to talk to on here. When you are around others generally it's best to just participate in what they are doing and as far as possible paste a smile on your face. You will get positivity back if you do and not negativity.. x

  • If you scroll down from this post of yours, (I think it's about 23 posts down from here. It was three days ago.) you will find a really inspirational post from Seeetiepye that might be helpful to you. She entitles it: Using the Negative to Find the Positive or Art Lesson 101. She offers some great advice and a neat way of looking at things in order to change your perspective.

    I do know, at least in my own case, that what I focus my attention on only becomes stronger. By focusing on the things which have caused my anger and stress in recent years, I feel like I have helped open my body up to developing the autoimmune disease I was diagnosed with in the summer of last year. I have always tried to live a very healthy lifestyle and the thought of being on Prednisone and immune suppressants truly scares me because everything I read on the forums I belong to indicate that the longer people are on these meds the more secondary chronic diseases develop. So when I caught some bug over the holidays and started feeling super fatigued I began focusing on my sickness, my fears, my anger and just started wallowing in my depression.

    What helped me get over it was finally forcing myself to get busy doing something. Even if it was just cleaning my kitchen thoroughly (a week-long project because of my fatigue) and getting outdoors. But mainly, beginning to focus on what I wanted to see instead of what I was afraid of. Also, Sweetiepye's analogy in her post came at a perfect time for me and helped with my overall perspective.

    It's hard to move out of ones comfort zone but sometimes it really helps. A meetup may be just what you need. Remember, when you're really depressed already, your interpretations of what others are thinking about you are coming from that perspective and may not be an accurate assessment. Just keep trying and I wish you well.

  • I'm sorry I'm tired again today and also have cfs. I am thinking of you. I'm trying to watch more comedy. I've no great answers but we're all here. Spring is coming. Lol

  • Hi MuslimLAD

    It can be hard when you have no immediate friends or people that you can call friends! I don't have many friends or many people that I could call upon in my hour of need! I've had some people who need me more than I needed them, so I even had to do what would be known as 'cherry pick' my aquaintances! Otherwise I was doing all the giving & they the taking, wearing me out!

    I too suffer from anxiety & depression & it's not easy to take what feels like a giant steps! To find friends I often had to be bold & take the first step or instigate a conversation when in the company of those didn't know that, I thought I would like to be part of my life & I be part of theirs!

    It is often more difficult when you are in an environment that you are not familiar with and have been invited to, to make friends! Being in a wheelchair can make it doublly hard as I keep getting in everyone's way & I have to keep apologising which can have a negative or even positive effect on meeting people! Most of the time I make light of it & put on a chuckle & say when you're half the size of the rest of the room you end up talking to people's tummies!!! But then say I'm ............ I used to work, be at school with the host & try to keep the conversation flowing!

    When I was able bodied I use to gradually make my way around the room saying good afternoon/evening, I'm ....... to those I didn't know, or accidentally bump into another person & say Sorry I'm ............ do you work with ............ the event host, I'm ............ I've known .........,,. for many years we used to live, work, grew up with, went to school with ...............! Whatever fits for you!

    Or even a little like posting on the site for the first time takes some guts, But You Did It!

    I would leave out the comparing illnesses like I suffer from....Depression/anxiety or conditions until you know someone a bit better! You don't have to lie about it, just get to know someone a bit better before you lay your life out on a plate!!

    Check out with your GP if there any support groups in your area, or even look on line for support groups that you could drive or get a bus to! Just to let you know you have joined a friendly forum & we are here for you even when you find your new friends, we're not going anywhere!!

    Take a risk Muslim, life is about taking risks every day we wake up & get out of bed! You've taken a risk coming on to the site, and that's great! Now you have to take a few more, there's more to you than that the eye can see! Good Luck Muslim! We will still be here for you!

    Take Care Muslim

    Wishing You Warm Wishes & Blessings Take Care.

    spykey 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

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