I have bipolar and I took 41 tablets of quetapine (50mg and 25mg) and 7 zopiclone (7.5mg). I believe I should of died but I have no liver / kidney problems, no heart damage or brain damage. I was in the hospital for 6 days. 2 of which I was sedated and breathing through a ventilator. I am angry at everyone who helped me and saved me. I know I shouldn’t be but I feel as if I was saved against my will and they haven’t listened to what I wanted. I feel selfish and feel as if I should feel “blessed” to be alive but I don’t.
Thank you if you read this and I hope none of you have to experience this.
Written by
StevenB22
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I think this alone is a very important and strong message. There have been things in my life where I could have been in a terrible accidents like when I was six and randomly got an ear infection that kept me from going with my grandparents and cousins to their mountain weekend home....car wreck happened and my grandmother was killed by a cop car chasing a stolen car. I would have been sharing a seat belt (it was 1989...so...I guess old school rules on car safety). I've been pulled from the water drowning. I've done stupid things on my medications (leaving that out because I don't want any ideas given to anyone). But I have somehow emerged from all of this....as you have from your situation. There's definitely a reason.
hi sorry to hear that you suffered dolphin is right though and you survived for a reason and that being its just not your time.obviously surviving means the issues are still within and maybe that's your reason for being angry.all anger pain hurt can be healed over time to some extent but it takes huge effort determination will power all qualities we possess if we get a clear mindset.keep at it keep the faith and take care.
Why did you do that?????????? What could possibly make you do that??????????
Surely, you have someone you care for or are you alone? Surely you can find someone to care for? Surely you do have a reason to live for?
I do have people which makes it worse, I’ve been diagnosed and prescribed with many different things and it’s finally comes to bipolar. When in those moods it’s very manic and all logic and remorse go out the window. I constantly think about suicide so it’s become normal and I feel the next time it happens will definitely be my final.
You have to change this negativity by listening to the radio, or Google mindful meditation youtube or motivational youtube Listen to premiere Gospel or Christain radio - change you mindset focus on the good
When people are at the very bottom of the dark hole, it's very difficult to see any light.
I don't think anyone who commits or attempts suicide is doing it to hurt their family. I don't think they can see beyond how awful they feel. It's easy for those who have never been there to come up with a set of coping skills for the person who attempted suicide.
I think the coping skills work in settings other than deep dark depression. A lot more help is needed to guide someone back.
I’m no longer with CAMHS because I’ve recently turned 18, I’m currently waiting for adult services to get in touch, they said I’d be restarting my psychotherapy and starting DPT. x
Welcome to our community, I note this is your first post.
I appreciate that you are a new member on the Shaw Mind Foundation, and may not be aware of the community rules and the wider impact of what you are saying. You are obviously going through a really difficult time right now, and we take everything you say very seriously. I would urge you to talk about your situation with your doctor or mental health professionals, so they can help you through this. As you have attempted to take your own life and at high risk of further attempts, we are very concerned for your safety.
You will notice that I have added to your post title a **Trigger warning**. We use this prefix in order to warn and respect other users that the content may cause some folks here who like you are in a vulnerable place, to avoid your post.
Hopefully, you have found folks here are very supportive and empathic in this community, many of whom will have felt as you do. I support what they have said to you. Your life is important and you are valuable. Please hold on and do not give up hope.
It is unclear from your profile which country you live in but if there is no one at hand you can contact:
Sometimes life gets unbearable we suno klemmer light we just keep searching for the light and it will appear no matter what Journey would maybe going through my battles were struggling suicide is not the way to solve it will solve your problem, of course but those you leave behind there is no other death or accident that's worse than suicide to those that love you and what they will experience after your death my son in his twenties he OD'd on pills as well but he survived it I wish you luck and reach out anytime
Yeah I'm glad you responded thank you unfortunately my son robbed a bank 7 years ago he's in high-security prison I wish him well I love him but he's 33 years old almost I didn't teach you many of his things that he did and I'm not perfect by any means but his father is not like that either drugs took him down the road he went and he's I don't know if you'll be okay or not I love him he's my child. I don't know you take care of yourself and I will be fine as well thank you
Somebody obviously cared enough to call for help! seek out help so you shouldn't be a burden on anyone! I hope you come to be thankful for having a second chance of life!
50mg of quetiapine times 41is 2050mg. the max therapeutic dose is around 900mg but a person can tolerate 1800mg due to human error all max therapeutic doses can be double as most people don't take their meds three times but occasionally you can take twice the therapeutic dose, it just happens.
4 x 7.5mg of zopiclone is about 10mg of zolpidem. zopiclone is not considered a hypnotic like zolpidem. you can easily take 20mg of zolpidem, although I strongly do not recommend it.
you can take all these medicines together in the amount you took them, but you shouldn't. did you take any anti inflammatory meds, even the normal dose can mess with normal anti psychotic dose's. I feel this may be the situation.
They were the only meds I took, honestly I can’t remember much because when I came around all of my medication plus the sedation made me hallucinate. I can only remember being moved to a ward really.
I was ashamed, I felt like a fool. It was one of the most embarrassing things that has ever happened to me.
I didn't go asleep, I was awake and slowly not being able to breathe more and more. I lost control of my motor functions and couldn't talk or write what I had done. It too me ages to get help, all the time slowly being able to breathe less and less. I was suffocating.
On previous attempts I felt foolish, but this time I had so much anger with no where to vent it, I was basically a vegetable for a couple of days but I don’t regret doing it and honestly I would do it again if I could go back. It’s nice to speak to somebody who understands.
I think people on this site understand you more than you realise, you never know what anybody is going through just remember you are not alone and keep reaching for help.
I'm probably stating the obvious, but if you have been saving up a stash by reducing your dosage, your mood would have gone down hill, bit of a chicken and egg situation...
Hope your mind gives you an excuse to stick around.... (Silly as it sounds, one of mine, was that i wanted to see the next Dr Who series)
Before my routine of tablet taking was not as strict but now all pills are locked in a safe and given at a specific time. I might have to start thinking of things to look forward too! Thank you for your advice.
Steven this powerful and extremely sad post to read, I really feel for you, obviously it’s not your to go so to speak so please while you are here do the right and make sure you are getting all treatment you need and deserve. You shouldn’t be suffering like this, please take care
Had a failed attempt myself this week, feeling like a failure that I can’t even do this right....having my meds checked today but I’m a mess with both anxiety and depression after I lost my dad and my relationship...really don’t know where to turn
Trust me, after my few failed attempts I thought the same thing, I can’t even live right and can’t even die right either. The hardest part to understand was that medication isn’t magic you have to put in a lot of effort yourself, but after everything we go through you just don’t see the point. I’m really sorry to hear about your dad and relationship and I would say it gets better but I can’t say that it does currently
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I just want this to be over!
FIRST DAY OVER!!! :-)
Effects of increasing Mirtazapine dose? 
*Trigger Warning* Getting over past trauma
Why does having a schedule freak me out?
