I'm pretty alone

[Emyong]

I have 0 friends.

I mean, you'd think after 21 years of living I would atleast have 1 close friend right? Idk..... but it's something that has always followed me my entire life.

Ever since I can remember I've struggled with making friends. When I was in elementary I was always in my own world and frankly wasn't interested in socializing with the other kids. Middle school, I started getting self conscious about it because everyone else had friends they could talk to and bond with but I wasn't used to socializing so I was on the VERY shy side. I've had friendships through late middle school and early high school but that didn't last long because of my edgy, I'm cooler than everyone else, phase at age 15. After that phase ended I reverted back to my shy self and bam. I'm now moping over not having a close friend in my early adult life.

Don't get me wrong, I have most definitely tried to makes friends and I can say that I have a few acquaintances in my life at the moment but when I hang out with someone 1 on 1 and try to have fun it just ends up either being awkward or we just....don't click.

It's not like I'm bad at socializing either. In fact I'd say I've made a huge improvement since my early years of life.

Sometimes I feel like it's a life long curse...idk... maybe I'm too desperate for friendship and they can sense that.

Can anyone relate or possibly have any advice? Any sort of response will help!

Thank you!!!

[hypercat54]

Hi I get where you are coming from. I never made any friends at all, even at school, but in my mid 20's I decided I had to learn how to. It is something I never learned as a child mainly because I was practicing the learned unhealthy behaviours of my dysfunctional childhood.

For quite a long time I watched how others interracted, how they behaved, what they said etc. I slowly began to copy them adjusting it to my personality of course and started slowly to make friends. I have made sure I have never been friendless since. I have learned the skills and so can you. Teach yourself and be open to change. If I can do it then you can too. x

[Amj75]

Hey! I’m 24 and I’ve always seemed to struggle with ‘friends’ despite being surrounded by loads of people. It’s like an invisible bubble around me that stops anyone wanting to be my friend. BUT I’m happy to tell you- it’s not all OUR FAULT.

If you’re from the UK, people are so hard to talk to. No one wants to get out of their cliche. I try to talk to other girls in the shops, in the queue but they don’t reply or look at me as if I’m trying to come onto them!! 😂

I’m a nice person, that wants to meet other people but that’s impossible. Especially in the era we’re in. Everyone’s on their phones, everyone’s a supermodel in their own right due to Instagram/tinder. It almost seems like everyone’s a brand these days rather than people. Just walking talking brands. They’re too scared to be themselves because of their social media image or (metaphorical) brand they’ve created for themselves.

So it’s not YOU. Not everyone’s like this, just the majority of people in the UK. If you go to other places people are so nice and friendly!

I’m from the West Midlands/ Black Country which is known for being friendly but even people here are so miserable and unfriendly (not older generation just ours!). It’s not YOU. You seem like a wonderful person. You can make friends and you deserve to have friends. Unfortunately, this country is really backwards and people our age don’t want to branch out and try something new. Keep trying! I don’t know what to suggest as I don’t know your story / entire background but trying to meet people that are into similar hobbies as you are can help. (This sounds textbook!) but I saw that you do graphic illustration- GREAT! There are communities of people all over the world. Sites like meet up are safe (I’ve used it by myself on the other side of the world) BUT BE CAREFUL!!!

There are ways to meet people, it’s just not that easy in the uk.

Good luck xxx

[borahae]

Hi, I'm 20 and I've had a group of close friends back in high school. But after we graduated.. we kind of fell out. Right now I don't really have someone I can call my close, best friend. Right now I've recently entered a club at my university and started to socialise to people online!

[Jackstoll in reply to borahae]

I feel the same mate. It kinda sucks how times separate us. Even after we try to keep contact

[Skydreamer42]

Be honest..entirely honest about yourself, with no faces to hide behind... If you are truly yourself you will find people who appreciate the true you, instead of the faces you put on to impress people

[Hidden]

To be honest many people go through life and never have a solid friend, they are generally mostly people who we meet and we pass through that friendship after short periods of time. Like you I can count real friends on the palm of one hand, most are like shipping that passes in the night. Sad to say I am very suspicious of someone calling themselves a real friend, Real friends have complex duties as you have with them.

If you have an interest or hobby, join a club or Night Class, I found that sort of thing introduced me to like minded people, associates, who could over time become a meaningful person in your life. Of course that is what we are doing when looking for a mate for life, with a bit of luck we then marry our real friend.

I found learning how to dance Ballroom, Latin and Old Time, met some meaningful people there, although not a real lifelong friend

BOB

[Airwolf]

I've gone through life with know friends I'm 48 now and I've managed ok.Its nothing to be ashamed about.Look after number 1 which is yourself

[Jackstoll]

Hello Emyong. I can feel that. Well our story wasn't really similar tho. I always have friends. But for close one. I dont think I have much. One or two. I dont even really keep contact with them. But my suggest is join group where your interest is. Look at them and choose those who you think is friendly enough and talk to them regularly. Like commenting something in their post sometimes or reply their chat in the group chat. Then ull know if u can get close to them or not. Well its not really different than others advice tho. But I think thats how it is. Try it mate. Being alone is not sucks but sometimes we really need friend