My blessed mother who wasn’t accepted to be educated was suffering she had been married with no choice and some my so-called ‘father’ who was never at home to see the pain and torment my dear mother and I went through so much and my father's sisters who were pure evil who lied to mother and stole her money pretending it was government. As a child id get beaten up by my family and my aunt died she was like my mother I felt as if I could do nothing I still feel worthless and I just want to take every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up
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memrise11
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hi that is shocking and sad to hear have you talked with anyone about it.please don't take any pills its always better to talk.we are here for you as well.
you see ive tried almost everything even writing stuff down I'm not allowed to do anything and I'm a teenager my parents control my life and I've had enough
That is so so so sad. There are some evil in families and I too have experienced .
I have and still feel a great burden of betrayal ...from family. So nasty some people ,Is there anyone you can speak to, !I'm thinking maybe face to face.
thank you so much...... I have no one id just get laughed at and my parents will be like oh ill slap your depression out of you I have no one and I don't know how to see a counsellor.
You must think of the future as new experience, as one to enjoy!
I don't want a future I can't stand my life currently going nowhere I'm afraid to take changes and fail my exam if I fail my parents want to stop me going college so i literally have no hope in my future
Hi how awful. You need to see a counsellor to help you deal with these feelings otherwise they will never go away and they will continue to poison your present and your future. Have you seen one yet? x
I'm scared to see a counsellor and I don't drive so it's hard for me to get there if I told my parents they would mock me and blame my grades and say I deserve this you see I'm still a teenager and I wanna give up right now I've had enough with everyone
Well as long as you are 16 or older you can see your doctor on your own and discuss it with her/him. If you are 18 or older than you are officially an adult and don't need to tell anyone.
I understand your fears but is it better to kill yourself rather than seek help? You deserve every chance in life so take them and start to learn how to move on and live your life to the full. You have many years ahead of you yet and you deserve to have a good life. x
Dear Memrise, I feel your pain, not having much growing up like you did, l feel the same about my childhood, only it was due to my dad falling off from a high beam while working in a building, not sure how far up high he was?but he broke his back and was in traction at the hospital for nearly a year, so we lost the little house we had, we had to move out and live in our cars we owned. So yeah long story short, growing up was really really miserable, but the good news is nothing stays the same. Things improved for my family. Sure there were days of crying and not having home and wondering if my family would ever feel normal again? Took so many years to keep positive. We had to go to churches to ask for food, my clothes was not that great. I have 5 sisters and 7 brothers.. mom and dad. While we were too young to work to make money, we had to work in farms and my dad and mom would ask strangers for temporary work. I was so embarrassed and felt ashamed for practically being homeless. Took at least 5 years to get back on our feet. Lots of crying and praying. But we were all together. So it made things bearable. I was only 7 years old when our whole lives changed. We had family like aunts and cousins but they lived in another country. So no friends and no aunts. No one really helped us, except for kind hearted strangers. We all felt like we were never going to make it, but we prayed and prayed. we kept trying to get through each day. My self esteem took a beating. I was extremely shy and never had little friends to relate to.. too poor. Anyways. Things vastly improved when I realized everyone else feels bad about something, everyone has something we wish would be better. Thing is, what ever is Bring you down, you must see it as a challenge to get through it. How ever you must think positive to get through each hurdle. All these bad feelings you have about the past. Try not to let them define you. You are stronger than you realize. Try not compare your life with others you see. No one life is perfect. If you need encouragement and affirmation, seek a counselor or a therapist. I had several counselors to guid me. You can choose to see your self through all this. and picture a better future for yourself. That’s what gave me hope.
thank you so much this is really powerful like I'm so happy you okay now and for me it more like everyone's on me and people always say stuff to me and make me feel in a way i just want to leave the world
Memrise11, are you able to get to a GP? If you can bus or walk to a surgery or get a lift with a friend you can tie it in with a “shopping trip” maybe, and have the appointment and go back with a shopping bag, so your family back off/aren’t suspicious.
You’ll have to be prepared to be really brave and really honest with the GP and tell them the whole story; not just about your suicidal thoughts but also your family wanting to “slap your depression out of you”. Sadly, some GPS are far more responsive than others, so it depends if you get a good one or not - but that could be a starting point. They might direct you to iTalk and suggest some meds and also keep an eye on your progress.
I’d start there and when you feel awful remember: this is the start of your journey , not the end. Be strong my friend xx
I grew up in a horrible environment and it has taken its toll on me. My parents were never happy together and I was even told that I was a Mistake. My mother was 17 when she had me and according to her she was not even aware she was having a baby until she was in hospital with severe stomach pains. I am 53 and born in the 60's. I was named after the nun who "tried" to put me up for adoption.. Something else my mother told me!!
If you read some of my posts on here, you will see that life has not been easy for me. I live a very quiet life these days and that is just how I like it. I have a couple of really good friends on here who I keep in touch with on a regular basis. I thought when I first came to this site, I had reached rock bottom, but little did I know that MY rock bottom was still to come!!
I really do think I could write a book about the things that have happened to me and it would make for really interesting reading. I have even thought of a title "Gin for Breakfast" as that is what my breakfast consisted of back then...
I have become very selfish and find that I think more about ME these days. I have dedicated my life to jobs, family, my son, my home (that needs so much done to it) but now I want to look after ME and if being selfish does that then so be it.
I have heard that expression "Life is too short" so many times and having just lost a friend to cancer a few weeks ago, I believe this. About 2 months ago I was admitted to hospital because I didn't want to be here any more, now I am glad that I am here. There is so much more to tell.........but maybe I will keep it for my book!! :-). Remember you heard it here first "Gin for Breakfast"... XXXX
Please take care of YOU!!! Live one day at a time, if not, one hour at a time...You will get there!! Always here if you fancy a chat! XXX
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What am I doing here?
I don’t know what to do anymore
I am broken and don’t know what to do. 
Wake up feeling like I want to die. What to do?
What can I do in a crisis?
