New year's eve

[Charmerbluegirl]

Happy new year's eve everyone. I know I'm not at my best right now but what can I say pain makes us stronger yet I feel no strength. It's a sad thing to have a individual lie to you isn't it? Or just stop talking to you? I think I invest too much time in people I get attached way too easily. It's something I wanna break getting attached I feel so lost right now but yet I have to face life. I just wanna be happy it's like each time I'm happy I always lose my happiness. I didn't wanna go into the new year broken but I can't shake this feeling especially when I didn't want this situation that I'm in to start with. I guess I should have said no at the beginning but wait I did say no but it still happened. How do you move forward? Please nobody say time is the greatest healer I still wonder about that statement. I find it hard to believe I just can't shake that I'm in the same situation again how I'm suppose to give someone else a chance. I feel like I can't trust anyone again and it's really sad. You know like when you wanna talk to only one person in this whole universe yet that one person doesn't wanna talk to you yet other people wanna talk to you. I just want one person right now yet they don't want me at all. Don't get me wrong with the problem I'm trying to explain. I'd hit the hammer on the nail I've never been in a relationship. I just thought a person and I were at the same place but we weren't they were moving too fast and I wasn't ready it didn't ended due to that. I don't know what to do now you know what it's like to talk to someone most of your days and just not have them anymore. An the worst part is I have so much to be focused on this January I have exams that I haven't been able to study for due to this person I'm not blaming them I take responsibility for that. It's just how a human could do something like this to another human. I wanna cry all day but I can't I feel the pain yet I can't cry. An I hate pain this is why I don't ever want a relationship cause I'd can't take the pain yet I have to feel this. I don't even know if I'd move on or if I want to. How to forget this? I just regret it all right now. It's sad how you'd regret this. Really sorry to burden y'all with this I just need someone anyone to get me out of this funk,please.

[oil70]

Heartbreak is reaĺly hellish I know..at least your heart has been open..mine has been closed since I was a kid and it's caused me to endure decades of bone breaking addiction and lonliness. I want to open it but I'm so terrified of being hurt I don't connect and if I do its a pseudo connection because I don't reveal my inner self. I'm sorry you have to go through this pain..everyone's pain is the worst because it's their own..there is no better or worse..I dont envy your pain..but i do envy your heart and courage. .I hope I can risk mine in the future. .Time is running out for me.

[Charmerbluegirl in reply to oil70]

It is horrible but risks can be a good thing I assume but I'm sorry to hear I hope the new year brings you everything you desire

[Infinit3]

Your words speaks to me. This is what im dealing with. I cant handle it. I’ve been searching for support yet no one’s there.

[Charmerbluegirl in reply to Infinit3]

I'm here if you ever wanna talk