I am bottling up all of my emotions inside and I am an awful person that just doesn't seem to learn. My parents are tired of it and I just want to end myself so I don't hurt them anymore. I have no one to talk to because I have been isolated from my team and I don't know if I trust my boyfriend anymore. He might share how I feel with them. They think I only say I'm going to kill myself for attention. They think I need too much attention and I just want to talk to somebody. I feel so alone and I don't trust people at school because I've learned that anyone can turn on you. I'm 17 and I want my life to be over. I don't care that my boyfriend told me I have so much more. I feel trapped in my own house. I am scared to talk to people because I feel like a monster. So much has happened in my family and now I am lost. I feel so stupid but suicide seems like my only way out.