I started cutting again * Trigger warning*

So I recently got married about 3 weeks ago to a man I thought was a good person. I also am currently 36 weeks pregnant with our first baby together. We just moved in to our new flat and everything seemed picture perfect. He’s been fully aware with my past depression and self harming problems.

A couple days ago I found out by going through his phone that he had cheated on me by sleeping with another woman a few months whilst we was engaged and only cut off communication a few days before we actually got married. We’re both 27 years old.

I’ve confronted him and he’s begged for mercy and forgiveness but it’s broken me and it’s set me off to start cutting again, I had stopped for months since my last depression episode which left me in therapy for some time. I know it’s wrong to do especially being pregnant but it’s how I cope. I feel my depression coming back and I’m having bad thoughts about no longer continuing life. I won’t harm my unborn child but once she’s born I really hope I’ll die.

[everyrose]

Hi JoJo,

I am so sorry to hear what you have been through. It sounds like you are in so much pain and cutting is the only way you can see to cope.

Really hope that you can see that none of this is your fault. But what you can do now is try and get the help you need to keep you and your baby safe. How would you feel about talking to your GP or midwife about what has happened and how you are feeling? You mentioned that therapy helped you stop cutting before- would you consider that now?

Hang in there, there is a better future. And soon you will have a baby girl who needs her Mum.

Let us know how you are doing.

[hypercat54]

Hi I agree with everyrose. You need to see your doctor urgently and get some medical help. It won't help that your hormones are all over the place with your pregnancy either. Cutting will make you feel worse in the long run too so you need to learn to deal with stress and pain another way.

There was a young woman here a few months ago who used to cut. She had obviously done it too much as the flesh in her arm separated en masse when she did yet another cut. She had to go to hospital and could have done permanent damage.

Please think of your baby and seek help. Once s/he is born you can start taking ad's and see if they help too. x

[Charmerbluegirl]

You need to do what's right for your baby think about her the situation is horrible with your husband but you can't harm yourself cause you need to be healthy to deliver a baby and also to keep your baby healthy as well. The situation with your husband is quite disatous even if it happened to me i don't know what i'd do but for sure harming yourself not gonna get you anywhere. You need to know you'd get past this and you'd breathe again. Be blessed