Loss of control (trigger warning)

[greymegan]

So I’ve been reluctant to ask about this but I thought it was time.

For context, I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression but recently quit my medication for it and haven’t gone to therapy for quite some time.

I keep losing control of myself.

For example, the other day, I sporadically got angry and I started pulling out my hair, scratched the skin off parts of my face until it bled, banging my head against a wall etc.

Also, I have been self harming for a couple of years straight now but the other night (after I got that spurt of anger) I cut a little too deep and now it’s opened quite wide.

I recognise that I need help, but I’m not sure who to go to, what to say or if I even want to go.

I’m frightened of being admitted to a mental hospital or something and getting a different, more serious diagnosis because I don’t think I’m just depressed, I think I have something a little more serious but I’m not sure what.

Help? (sorry and thank you)

[Rick1on1]

Self-harming is very serious and you should reach out for help. Posting here shows that you want to get better.

I know it's difficult and will take some time but you need to find the courage somewhere.

Give yourself a goal - what do you want from life?

[Hidden]

Hello and welcome Megan.

If you are so stressed that you are cutting you need help. If you feel the need call NHS Information line on Tel 111 and explain how you are feeling and any risks to your health and well being, they will help you and put you through to people who will be able to help you.

However at this time you need to make an appointment with your GP to discuss your fears and problems. Make a list of all you wish to discuss, this will help you remember all saliet points and make better use of your appointment time

You say you have cut to wide and deep, if that is the case you need to attend A and E Ward and get it looked at and treated. You will most probably find you may need stiches.

If you are still bleeding contact 999 and explain you are still bleeding, explain what has happened and they will decide on the best way forward.

Whatever you do, visit Aand E, or even if possible go into the Doctors surgery and explain to reception what you have done, hopefully a nurse will be able too treat and bandage your arm up to prevent infection

BOB

[c-mac]

When I'm super stressed out it's nice just to find a professional and be told what's going on. I don't have to add "figure everything out" to my list of worries. A doctor or therapist can do that for me.

[sweetiepye]

I think you have received some very helpful advice here. I can't add to it except to say your life will get better. Having a rest from your problems and having people help you to refocus will make a huge difference. Take care, Pam