Why?

[darkshadow]

I turn to you here as I cannot think who else to talk to. This is the stupidest thing.I have recently had a lovely birthday when my sons took me out for a delicious meal.That was on Saturday, 29th September.I have managed to stay relatively cheerful since then although I am on no medication at present and am suffering a lot of lower back pain.

I was looking forward to cooking a nice meal tonight for all of us but I should have defrosted it over night as it can't b cooked from frozen. I didn't check on this till today so now I can't provide the meal. This has thrown me into floods of tears which have lasted a long time.I ask you why such a trivial thing could do this when I was doing so well. I suppose it shows that my mental state is still abnormal. I can't seem to control these bouts of crying, I have little appetite, my stomach and bowels are preventing me from eating a healthy diet as I am often nauseous and have abdominal cramps. For the last 3 days I thought I was getting back to normal but I was obviously wrong. Can any of you explain this ridiculous set back?

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi there,

These things happen. It's part of the roller-coaster of life! I know it's disappointing and frustrating when our plans go awry, but it really isn't the end of the world. Maybe get a takeaway tonight (I always find fish and chips are a bit of a comfort food), and get the dish out to defrost overnight tonight for tomorrow. In regards to your emotional state, maybe it's time to have a chat with your GP or local mental health team about a treatment plan options. There must be a reason why you finding it hard to control feeling so distressed and upset, so getting some professional medical advice should help. We are here for each other and we are listening.

Ok, folks, can you offer some support to this member?

Take care and keep in touch.

MAS Nurse

[sweetiepye]

I would guess that something else is bothering you and not defrosting the meal is just the hook you found to hang it on. So maybe if you give it some thought you can figure out what is really bothering you. Possibly having a family get together so soon after your birthday is a little too much. I love my family but entertaining them can be exhausting and more that I can handle at times. It makes them sound awful doesn't it? I think take away is an excellent idea although I'm probably a little late with my advice. Little set backs happen all the time. Sometimes it's because you set your expectations too high and then you are so discouraged when you fail. Baby steps will get you where you want to go, it takes a little longer that's all. Pam

[darkshadow in reply to sweetiepye]

You are right, of course. I was depending on cooking the meal to keep my mind occupied when otherwise it would have been concentrating on all the things which make me so sad.I have been on and off again 4 types of medication over the last 12---14 years. None of them gave me lasting relief. The source of my sadness remains the same today as it did in the beginning---grief, loneliness, monotony, fear. I have lost most of my loved ones but the longing for them remains. I live in the past in my mind but miss terribly the presence of them all.There is no medication or cure for this stage in life.

[sweetiepye in reply to darkshadow]

There is the cure of doing for others. When I am well enough, I find it helps me feel needed and useful and that turns into peace and sometimes happiness. While I have been on this site I have realized that loneliness is a big problem for a great many of us. When you're depressed it's very difficult to fight being lonely. You can start by being active here and maybe join a club, or volunteer . Most of my family is gone and I try to remember the good times and how loved I was. I always have that. Pam

[Young_wolf]

I have depression and this can definitely be a sign of it. Sometimes youv just got to let it out. Iv recently been nursing my sick cat (who i love more than life its self 😊) back to health, one evening at 9pm i got so worked up about how ill be was i burst into tears, had a panic attack and called my mum to tell her i couldn't do this with him, i loved him too much to see him like that. All while the cat was having a peaceful snooze on the sofa. The point in me tell you this story is, once i had my panic and my cry and told my mum i couldn't go on, something in me just relaxed. I had been holding onto so much stress and hadn't had a chance to release it. The next day i go up and carried on and unfortunately for people like us thats just what we have to do. Have your meltdown, have your cry, whatever you want to call it, its simply stress leaving your body that you may not have been aware of.

Now with a clear head you can keep an eye on how often these moments are happening and what situations youv been in prior and after. Then take that information to your GP so yous will both have a good idea of whats going on.

Go gently

[darkshadow in reply to Young_wolf]

That is the most relevant and helpful post I have had. Thank you. I always relax after a long cry but the result is pure exhaustion. The urge to cry happens without warning sometimes. I often cannot find its source. I know for sure that I am over sentimental and emotional but I have always been like that--only not so much as now. The least thing--sad or even happy--and I am in tears. This morning, a tiny sparrow was hopping across my lawn and tears were running down my cheeks. I think it must be difficult for some people to understand that over reaction. The tiny bird was so beautiful, brave and adventurous that I loved it in that moment and wondered how its fragile life would unfold. Then it was gone.