Hello I have posted questions before about being very anxious and feeling depressed.
I have just started 30 hours work experience which I have to do otherwise my benefits will be stopped.
I started earlier in the week and I'm finding it very hard. I am constantly on edge and panicky. I am dealing with the general public and it scares me. I really want to get a job but being so anxious it's very hard.
It's a charity shop and when a customer approaches me I get very nervous and shaky. I have made a few mistakes on the till because I can't concentrate. When I'm in the back sometimes I hide in the back as long as I can to avoid contact with people.
Even when I'm at home I can't relax because I'm so anxious and I find before leaving home that I'm shaking and worrying about the day ahead and can't stop thinking about things that could go wrong.
I finally plucked up the courage to book a doctors appointment which is next week. I know they can't stop me from doing the 30 hours, but do you think they will help me? Give me something to cope.
I have looked on the internet and I have a lot of symptoms of different anxiety disorders.
Has anybody got any advice about how I can cope until then when I'm in the charity shop?
How openly have you discussed your feelings with the staff? Perhaps if you were to explain how difficult you find interaction with customers, they might want to support you. Perhaps you could shadow another staff member for a while, just helping them with what they're doing? I'm sure there is plenty that needs doing 'out back'. Would it be a good time to suggest you go through all the old stock and have a reorganise? X
Sorry I do not really know what is the best way forward.
There are relaxation techniques you can use and sometimes you will be given advice on how to progress down that path. Take several deep breaths and approach the person. Generally for what I have seen most work in a charity shop will be putting out stock and taking in money,. Ask a member of staff if you can stand in with her when she is working, this will possibly give you encouragement in dealing with the general public.
You say you will be seeing your GP soon, therefore discuss with him your worries and possibly there may be coping skills to help you.
Sometimes if you stretch your neck and rotate your head this sometimes can relax the neck and relieve the pressure and stiffness
Ah Caroline, 30 hours is a lot! I could probably only manage about 2!
Yes I think its a great idea to go to the doctor; I would look at getting some meds to see you through the initial time there and also is it possible to report back to the job centre and make them aware of these difficulties if need be?
However it is very early days yet so maybe see if you settle after a couple of weeks anyway.
Strategies for coping in the meantime.
Well for one thing I can tell you that many people who work in charity shops have difficulties of one kind or another and so you very probably won't be the only one who has been so nervous. How do you get on with the manager?
Are they someone who is approachable? If they are then I would tell them about your anxiety( or just say you feel nervous if you don't want to make it into a "clinical thing" as everyone feels nervous when they start a new job) I say this because I do wonder whether since revealing that I suffer from anxiety whether it has helped or hindered me in my voluntary work. I do feel a bit stigmatised by it so just saying you're a bit nervous if you think that is enough could help.
And then have a think like Lucy says of asking to shadow someone or work in the back as they normally need people to iron and press and tag clothes. I lasted precisely two two hour slots on seperate days in a charity shop as I was so phobic and nervous about work so you have done really well to keep going.
Is there anyone there you get along with as this can sometimes help reduce your anxiety to try and work in whichever department they are in . I remember the short time I was there we got some real characters come into the shop; it was more like a mental health drop in but also remembering that some of your customers may have a lot of difficulties themselves could help you feel less "unusual" or "faulty" as i'd like to bet you will hear all sorts of things in there about people's problems in life.
Generally where I was the customers were tolerant regarding the till as they knew that we were all volunteers and that we were volunteeing rather than doing paid work for a reason so they were not too bad with mistakes which were made,so bear this in mind they will know you are learning and that you may be nervous.
Gemma XX
Hi two things. Firstly you can ask your doctor for a sick note which means you will be on ESA instead of JSA so you can stop work in the shop. Secondly if you are going to stay on JSA you can ask your doctor to write you a letter stating that you cannot work more than say 20 or 25 hours a week. Take this to the Jobcentre where they will keep this on file. I did this and wasn't forced to work more hours than I could handle. They then cannot make you work more than the hours specified by the doctor whichever benefit you are on. Ok? x
Ohhh you are going to think I'm bonkers, well why do think I'm here...lol.
Still here goes, my advice is going to somewhat hinge on your beliefs, so with my heart in my mouth here goes.
Im going to take a BIG leap of faith and hope like me you believe people are more than flesh and bone, that what inhabits our bodies are our spirits, the essence of who we are.
So if you can agree, then maybe you can do what I do when Im dealing with someone I either find difficult or don't like, I have to do this consciously and it takes but a moment. I have to see them for their real selves, ie see their spirit and since I don't know them or their spirit, I see them in my minds eye as a shaft of light. Now I am communicating with a wonderful spiritual shaft of light. It's like magic, it's almost as if they can feel how I want to communicate with their real selves and everything turns around, they greet me with ease and I can talk to them nooo problem. Sorry if this sounds a little woo woo.
If that doesn't feel good to you then try this...
All people are like you underneath many are vulnerable, scared, emotional, they just put on a big front and your few kind words or a smile when you feel good, could make their day.
Often people who shop in charity shops are lonely or maybe not working, retired, short of money, vulnerable etc Now Im not saying all people who shop there are, but you aren't working in some uptown jewellers, so relax. Notice who comes into your shop and you will see what I mean, a kind word from you could easily make your day and theirs.
As you work on this your life will improve and you don't have to do this all at once, baby steps, one day maybe comment on what someone has bought, or a nice broach they are wearing etc and see their face light up and then you will light up. This could turn out in the end to be truly wonderful for you. And if you like your boss tell him/her you're having trouble, ask do they have any advice?
You can do this, because you know what it is to be fragile and you know how you like to be treated and you know what makes you feel better, it's what will make them feel better.
Im sorry this has been forced on you and Im sending a HUG, I really think you can do this. In fact with your knowledge of depression I think there is no one better for the job.
People are just people, just like you, they need gentle caring people like you around, your boss is VERY lucky to have you. This job may increase your confidence enough that when someone new starts like you, you can show them the ropes and help ease their worry.
I really hope that helps. It is a very great thing that you do...WELL DONE!!!
Hi Caroline, I agree with so much of what you have said. Please listen to Caroline Caroline (Is that an echo?). I obviously don't mean you should listen to yourself Caroline, although that is good at times, I mean Caroline 1993 will you please listen to Caroline London. Again (this might make you blush if so blush away )I will say your advice and writing CL I find very inspirational and up lifting. Best Wishes. Henry
Cheers Henny I thought I might be labelled bonkers for the spirit stuff...lol
If this was a play I might be the 'Other' Caroline you know the one who eats biscuits on the Chesterton and spills tea all over the Axminster and drags round a Great Dane and solves crimes but is never seen, whilst Caroline 1993 gets all the blame and cant go to the ball because I have stolen her size 6 slippers to win the Prince only Im a size 4.5...I think Im getting my metaphors or maybe my idioms mixed up...I feel dizzy... PiMMs Anyone
Bottom line Henny generally speaking I like people. There you've got me! Bang to rights! That said certain people who shall remain nameless and are NOT on this site, are not mine or my bears friend right now. I suspect sometimes he who shall remain nameless may have cottoned on that I enjoy this website, then again he maybe stuck down a well...ooops
How do you drag these thing out of me Henny. I have to ask, have you and your cat solved any murders recently? Perhaps that is the connection.
No murders but then my Cat you may possibly be glad to hear gets very anxious when he goes near Canals or WELLS (memories perhaps of his mater and pater and their watery end in times of recession).
Not even most people Caroline. Everyone I know who shops in them is 'normal' and everyone where I live goes in. I certainly do! Most people who work in them are either in between jobs, Work part time only, don't have to work or are retired. Charity shops are for everyone not just people with problems. I thought that sort of thinking went out with the ark! Bev xx
As ever cant please all the people all the time, I'm trying to help Caroline, see people as vulnerable, much like herself that she can connect with, sorry cant be PC all the time Bev. Surely you know me well enough by now to know Im on the side of those who struggle of course NOT everyone is as I described...I think you'll even find I said so. Sorry didn't mean to offend Up to you how you choose to read it.
Yes you did write this post before I remember? you need to see your GP and tell them you need support with this you need to read your replies I am sure you got some good support and advice last time you posted - tell a parent also how you feel and go to your gp also dont be work shy in the long run it will do you good - however difficult at the moment - seek support from your GP.
30 hours will fly by once you get to know a few people. And who cares if you aren't perfect straight away, you're a volunteer which is supposed to be fun. Stop stressing about it and make friends with people. Having a laugh about any mistakes breaks the ice .
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Bev xx
I'm new here, need advice or to know if anyone feels the same as me! 
Back to work tomorrow
How long can you keep fighting 
Returning to work....
Feeling like I'm at rock bottom, unsure how to cope with depression.
