Hi, you might know me, but if not, then hi! Well, even if you know me already, hi.
I have had enough. Just... agh! Christmas has always meant gifts and celebration and family time and Christmas dinner for my family. Gifts, celebration, family time, that's absolutely fine, that's great. I enjoy all that. But Christmas dinner? My family are BIG Christmas fans, so we've already started having things like roast chicken, potatoes and Yorkshire pudding for lunch. It's terrible! Why so? I'm anorexic. I mean, I can eat it, but I can't yet consistently eat meat. Every time I say that I don't think I'll be able to manage the meat of the meal, my dad is understanding, he's great, and he'll negotiate some source of protein as a substitute. However, my mother looks like she's about to cry and that her heart's going to break, and acts furious at me. I can't help it, I really can't. And I apologise over and over again, but she still will not calm down. Even when I'm shaking and crying at the table from just looking at the meat, she's still not happy. I just don't know what to do. She said she'd hate for me to become a vegetarian since it'd mean a lot more work for her, and the last thing I want to do is make her more stressed when she has two children, one of which is 8 and already getting bullied, and the other of which is me, who has OCD, depression, anorexia and anxiety. She's already got loads on her plate without having to deal with me. I haven't felt suicidal for a while, but if this doesn't improve soon, I may feel like that once again. Any advice or words of comfort? I mean, at this point, even just a smiley face would make me happy.