Never going to be the same

[diamond47m]

I stay depressed, no one other than my dad who is 87 and 550 miles away and my 2 kids give a damn if I live or die. My husband is dead, my daughter has her own life even though we live in same town. My son lives with me and feels the same as me. The friends we had all turned their back on us. I have a job that I like most of the time but other than that there's no reason to even get out of the bed. Why go on? I got more people in heaven than I do here.

[1gemma]

Hi don't give up! There is always something to make you want to keep fighting have you seen a doc if your son feels the same as you then there is your motivation not to give up I reasently lost my bf.. The feather of my two small children in a tragic accident and I feel like some days I don't want to be here it hurts everyday but you need something that gets you out of bed even if it's something so small to start with work from there talk to some one ask for help because it's out there more now than ever x

[ladeda]

Hi diamond, I like your username, you sound like a lovely uncut diamond that just needs some TLC to bring back your sparkle.

It's very difficult when you are also sharing your life with someone who is also struggling, hopelessness is as contagious as happiness, but it could help if you can get a plan of action that you could follow together? Sometimes our biggest problem is knowing what we want, its so much easier to say what we don't want in life and then get stuck in the emotions of hating feeling like that and not believing that it could be different.

You sound like you very much need a support group, maybe not necessarily to discuss feelings but just to socialize and express how lonely you can feel because of losing those who meant so much, they may be gone but are very much alive in our memories and happy memories are very therapeutic.

It's not worth thinking about what others think, we really don't know and I know I can easily put two and two together to make half a dozen imagining what others think when in reality I couldn't possibly step into their heads and know. I guess that's why self compassion is what counts the most, talk to the inner you with kindness, write down anything you can think of to tell yourself you are going to turn this around, no it won't happen in a day, week , month , it will be a slow process just the same as all the other skills you have mastered in your lifetime. The world we live in can seem a very hostile and cold place to be, but it is also the most beautiful peaceful place full of love where you can witness as small gesture that can bring tears of joy.

Take things slowly, you can't change everything all at once so set mini goals, things that are achievable so at the end of the day you can say to yourself, yes I can get better and learn how to live again!

I hope you soon meet new friends that can help you on this journey but until then try to be your own best friend.

Lots of cyber hugs xxx