Another day...

[Lu2356]

Been some days. They seem like weeks or something. Today has been a draining day. I was having deep convo with my mom. It hit me like a ton of bricks, again, of how much I am gonna miss her when she passes. I came to find out that she lived a crazy life since she was a teen. I told her I wish I would have met her then so I could have been there for her. Now, more than ever I understand where she comes from. How she told me that she didn’t have her own mom be there for her like she needed. And of how, she didn’t know how to be a mother as a result of these things that happened. I love her. I forgive her. She knows it. And she always be in my heart when she is gone. We have had a love/hate relationship. She has helped mold me into who I am, good and bad. She is my best friend. There will never be anyone like her in my life. Despite all the bs, she was always there in the best way she knew how.

At this time, I hurt so much also. I don’t have a good support system here at home. I think I made a huge mistake in marrying someone who I feel has never been there for me emotionally. Perhaps, he just doesn’t know how, but I wish that we could go our separate ways...

[Blue42]

Hi, I can sympathise with how you feel about marrying someone who is never there for you.

I was married to a man who had no empathy for any one and his whole universe revolved around how him and how he felt.

I spent 10 years trying to make things work, trying to help him see that I needed love and understanding too.

Perhaps suggest couples counselling and see if that works. You may be able to start to communicating a little better. Good luck x

[Lu2356 in reply to Blue42]

Unfortunately, he said we, more like he doesn’t need counseling. That I have a weak mind and that I just need to get my head straight. I attend counseling alone for the 4th time the whole 11 years I have been with him. I have tried to make things work on my own accord and felt defeated. Financially, we wouldn’t be able to split up, but I am considering splitting up emotionally for the nth time. I just can’t find no resolution...

[Blue42 in reply to Lu2356]

I'm sorry to hear that he's so selfish and he's probably too afraid to go and confront the fact that he has to change his behaviour and not be so self centred and blinkered.

It's always easier to put your head in the sand or blame some one else.

Do what's right for you.

Separate yourself emotionally if you can, you may find things easier to cope with if you only have youself to worry about. Take care xx