How can I be more positive?

[olgamarie]

I am 72 and hate the way I look and hate myself. I gained weight, have lung cancer, emphysema, a bad foot which makes it hard to walk and kyphosis spondalytis (severe arthiritis of spine).I am struggling financially, cannot afford to do much. I have no car so feel like a prisoner in my home. I have always prided myself on being positive. I feel I only have a few years to live and am stuck in this body and place. I cry often and feel hopeless. How can I turn this around?

[Shadow123-]

My heart goes out to you. Do you have family who could help ? You have made the 1st step already- you will find that this is a great site to off-load. Im quite new here too and i have found that getting other sufferers advice / understanding and general empathy helps you to put things in perspective.

Also have you considered contacting citizens advice or similar as you may be entitled to assistance. Also coffee mornings etc. might help you get out a bit.

Thinking of you 🖤 Shadow

[hypercat54]

Hi do you think you might have depression as this is very common in chronic illness? In which case a visit to your doctor might be helpful.

Are you getting any benefits? I am in the UK so do not know what you can get in the US. x

[olgamarie in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you for caring and responding. Yes, I do have depression and it vascilates from being ok to not. Guess, I am in the cycle again. I take 60 mg. of Cymbalta twice a day. I do get my medicare paid for by the government. I am grateful. I have so many issues going on, I do not know what to do or where to start. I have had ten major surgeries in eleven years, have PTSD, my one son is an alcoholic, the other has a illness called schizophrenia (on meds doing very well). My mother passed away 5 years ago (my best friend and confidant). I took care of her for almost eight years, she lived with me and had Alzheimers. My companion of 15 years passed away last summer. Doesn't seem like so much, but I am tired and burnt out. I go to the YMCA for water exercise three times a week. Trying. I am just so tired. I know I should be thankful. So many have it worse than me.

[c-l-g in reply to olgamarie]

So much loss and pain...my heart reaches out to you.

I am giving you a virtual hug because I need to do that. I also have been through the hell of loving both my addict sons, loss of my husband after 36 years of marriage, and am struggling with my mobility as well as doing hard work to keep myself outta that dark pit, which we all know feels like a sort of death.

Please be as kind to yourself as you would a good buddy going through all these unknowns...knowns...and losses. Will say a prayer for you and want to just encourage you it will get better. One day atta time, One step atta time...

joy in the journey, c-l-g

[hypercat54]

Yes others might but you certainly have your share to be dealing with so I can quite see why you are feeling like this.

To be honest I am not sure I or most people could deal with as much as you are and you strike me as being a strong and positive person despite your illnesses and family circumstances. What you have gone through and are would floor most people.

Maybe there are other benefits you could apply for and it might be possible for you to be able to afford a car. Or how about a mobility scooter? You would be able to travel further then and wouldn't feel so hemmed in.

I wish you the best. x

[olgamarie in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you so much for the encouragement. And validating me.

[hypercat54 in reply to olgamarie]

Validation is always very important isn't it? I know how lack of it feels! x

[c-l-g in reply to hypercat54]

We all need to be reminded who we are...that we may have challenges, struggles and battles; but we cannot let them have us!

[hypercat54 in reply to c-l-g]

We all need to be heard c-i-g x

[c-l-g in reply to hypercat54]

Such good ideas, hypercat!

[pink83737]

I will pray for you, pray for yourself to with god anything is possible hang in there! I always have this quote when things go wrong "life has a funny way of working out when you least expect it to" Remember that! Take one task at a time.

[olgamarie in reply to pink83737]

Thank you for caring and sharing.

[pink83737 in reply to olgamarie]

you can message me if you'd like to chat

[pink83737]

Also remember you are unique we all are don't hate yourself. try looking up some affirmations on self love on google. I'm sure it could help you

[Add2]

I wish that you feel better about yourself. and I think if you can find a friend at the same age, that's will help alot. You will find too much to talk about and share, hopefully with a car D

[olgamarie in reply to Add2]

Thank you Add2. Yes, that is a good idea. It just seems like everyone is so busy. I met a girlfriend the other day and she told me to call her. Think I will.