After 1 week in hospital,they said it was for respite,and 2 separate weeks in the Adtu (adult day treatment unit) 3 different diagnosis,
Finally discharged to the care of holly Lodge I find the person allocated my care? Is rarely available and furnished with the wrong info I get to meet her only to be told that I should go to the gym.
During this crisis,for me,I had a moral and legal duty to do a safeguarding report,I am concerned that my grandkids will come to harm due to ongoing crisis with another family member, who battles with mental health,drugs,and liked the bad boy image,always attracting lunatics that bash her.
So I did the right thing and have paid a heavy price for this.
Most of my contact has been thru Cmht who have without a doubt stopped me from otherwise taking my own life,during one period I can only describe as crisis, I called and Cmht came to see me,they said they would chase up my so called care coordinator and get things moving,been waiting on mind since Oct last year,
So Cmht meet with Holly Lodge and I get a call to finally see my elusive carer.
She dismissed my situation and suggested I go to the gym, I was trying to see if swimming was possibly the best for me as I have lost and regained huge amount of weight and my body is a mess,I was also told to apply for pip as I struggle financially and was told to apply,so I did,got rejected and humiliated in the process,then I get told by money advice unit that basically I had mild depression and wasn't really an ideal candidate for pip,got a score of 2.
So my appointment with mind came and I attended,have called emailed and even dropped in there to leave messages to contact me,all to no avail,not heard a word prior to Cmht stepping in,I get there and was left crunching my anxiety worried and feeling unwell, I sat for 20 mins and walked out,they called me and I went into a mini melt down, next day holly Lodge call insisting I go make another appointment,wich I will when I summon up the courage,in the meantime I can drop in to see the duty??? If I feel I need to,my care coordinator,told me I did not need the Cmht and I was discharged from them.? WTF? These people saved my life, the lodge are armed with every excuse under the sun about why they can't contact me,saying my phone doesn't work,well it does they simply have not contacted me the end.
So, I've stepped back from the family situation,on doctors advice,the kids ended up in the hands of the drug addicted father,the one who got my family member on drugs in the first place, he has had a heart attack due to his new found wealth,from all the money he gets in benefits for the kids, the mother has fallen pregnant to the next bloke to come along,he has mental health issues as well,now she back with the last person that tried to kill her and regularly beats her.
The kids, dint know where they stand from one day to the next and my situation has gone right back to where I was before I was put in hospital,for respite what a joke,add my medical situation,I have hep c,on top of an incurable disease that claimed my mother and My life is a complete ship wreck.
I was trying to ask if they could get me a discount,or a pass for the pool,it's low impact,I enjoy it and the best way for me to rebuild myself physically while under hep treatment, instead I got told to "tell them your under the mental health team at holly Lodge" like I want to announce that publicly...
They gave me a letter of introduction and after watering my situation down and running out of time,I was sent packing.
Still can't afford the pool,have to decide between shopping and the hospital,my last visit cost me 120 pound, I paid parking and still landed a fine,I can't use public transport as I get disorientated and easily confused, at the time I spoke with my carer I was still under medical investigation,so my situation was not clear other than the hep,prostate,and other stuff they found.
Now I sit and wait,do I just throw the towels in as I'm sure between the hep and the safeguarding I am being avoided other than contact I've had with Cmht.
My wife has suffered terribly thru all this,she recovering from breast cancer, our marriage is on shaky ground and told me she is leaving in 8 weeks when my treatment is finished.
I've said all I need to say,I'm still in dire straits so to speak,never felt so out of control in my life, prior to all this I worked in the health care sector as a teaching assistant at one of the top schools in England, now I have been sick for 18 months with until recently no explanation,
I regret the embarrassment I have caused myself,I have done all I can do and still sit on the verge of suicide.
This is not a life it's a disgrace,people playing God with people's lives when they can be bothered is not right,as for my respite,I spent 5 days defending other patients from being bullied while staff looked on.it was a nightmare,then when I called for help was told to get up and open a window if I was hot. Given the wrong drugs by mistake,when I pointed this out was told "just take them anyway" what a complete joke!
I will try with mind again,if they will have me,all I asked for wad some counseling, someone to talk stuff thru with,I got diagnosed with ptsd 26 years ago, I sought out a councillor and used him on 3 occasions, not needed it since,until now,do you Think I can organise it now,no I can't,not for trying I can't,guess I only got myself to blame as no one in this day and age wants to accept responsibility for anything,to easy to come up with an excuse,I'm trying to help myself but just can't manage.
That's me in a nutshell,
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Phillipaussie
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What a difficult time you are having. Thank you for managing to write this for us. Please do see you have not let anyone down. You have done so much for others and are a very caring person. It seems as if you have been let down and things are just not great at the moment in so many areas of your life.
As you know our members are very supportive, so may have more advice and information for you. Yes do try with MIND again, it may be that things get better with another go.
The pinned posts and topics may be helpful for more advice and information.
I am sorry that your wife too is having health problems and your marriage is difficult. Have you considered going to relate for any advice or counselling. relate.org.
The swimming sounds a good idea. I hope you can get a pass or some help with the funding. Let us know how things go.
You have given so much in your caring work. Try to acknowledge this and give yourself some positive thoughts. This cannot be easy, but let us know how things go for you.
I can sympathise with your situation. Trying to get mental health care in the UK at the moment in my experience has been a disgrace.
I live in the West Midlands. Phoned "crisis" team last Saturday. I was told they will call me back but they could not give a time. They never called me back. I just get tossed around from one person to another. I did have a care co-ordinator but since been told she's had to leave and they have no-one to replace her with.
Your situation sounds very dire and in need of proper professional help which you are not really getting. Just try and hang on in there best you can is all I can say. You are up against a lot of very difficult circumstances.
I myself am just hanging on; not knowing what is the matter with me but I feel bizarre, afraid and very damaged. I do keep thinking about suicide but then dismissing it as the method I have planned does involve planning and I can't quite commit to it 100% but like you say about the "help" it is pretty diabolical in my experience.
Thank-you,just reading your words is very grounding,puts some things into perspective, I am gutted by the way these so called professionals just lie their way out of situations,tried to call me they say but couldn't get thru so they wrote me off,despite having next of kin contact numbers,how do they even qualify.
It's a sad situation indeed as when we find ourselves contemplating suicide talking time has already passed,I can only share with you my experience with the crisis team,they saved my life at one stage,can't thank them enough, they,and the community mental health team I can honestly say all worked very hard and without them I'd be gone already,my illness has a huge impact on my mental health,been tested all my life for one thing that my mother died of. Porphyria,only to find a new way of testing revealed I do have it,on top of hep c and bladder prostate issues I had enough on my plate,nursed my wife thru 5 years with breast cancer,work in a school for over 18 y.o. With Complex Autistic and mental health needs,a step daughter with a crack habit,3 innocent souls that she cannot provide for,constantly being bashed and threatened,and some over glorified social worker says go to the gym...it's an insult to the core,I could have swung for her but not being a male chose not too,of course.
Thanks for your kind words,let's make a pact to get thru this alive,
Sorry I can't take your pain away for you,I wish I could,I will however do what I can to make damn sure you get some support,if you want it that is,it comes in the form of these pages but between us I'm sure we can prop each other up.
Don't throw the towel in with the crisis team,stand your ground,they will respond.
You don't be so hard on yourself, it took more guts to put what you have on here than most people will ever have and for that small part you played in my life you can take pride,you have helped me in turn Ai want to do the same,between us we may actually educate a few others.
Hope you get some help soon,please stay in contact,we can do this.
I'm glad it helped. Some people are reluctant to comment on how poor the system is, or maybe it is better in their areas. I live in an Inner city area which is poorly resourced per population and I have noticed in the past ten years that it has got a lot worse. Whereas at one time there was some continuity in mental health treatment nowadays they are just responding on a reactive basis to each new crisis which crops up. If they were able to provide continuing care these crisis situations would not occur so often. People get zero support then go into crisis.
And yes it's happened to me things like saying" Oh we did call you but we must have had the wrong number" and other such rubbish. Also I've been given false hopes and false promises of treatments which will help me but then which never materialise as that person is told to move on to a job in a different section.
So yes it's disheartening and we're left to feel like burdens, rather than vulnerable people who just need the right kind of sustained input from them. They don't always seem to behave with respect, it is more like we are criminals they think they are treating.... x
It's a shame,it really is,one wonders how many more people will find themselves in our position before they realise that putting services under umbrellas clearly does not work,the police came here with a crisis team some time ago,tried to get my wife to sign a document saying they had responded to a domestic violence situation, she refused,it was and never has been domestic violence, it was me cracking up screaming out for help,they then listed her as a vulnerable person so if the police ever get called here again they come in heavy handed,for God's sake,I have a huge respect for the cops but get a grip,I never knew anything about it until my wife told me about it later,the cops drove me to a hospital17 miles from my home then dumped me,still in my worst state,the hospital said they couldn't help and sent me home, I started walking lo and behold two cops stopped and then drove me home, I was hospitalised the next day.
The hospital said treat this as a respite from your stresses at home,I was bullied by staff and stood over to take drugs etc,it was a total nightmare.
Enough about me,you have some very valid points with what we have said here I admire your ability to say it how it is.
Don't envy your situation one little bit,you must have one he'll of a strong constitution to part with what you have,hang onto that,if it gives you the strength to try and get better then it's all worthwhile.
You know the one thing we could all use is a hug, so sending cyber hugs your way,from that big burly Aussie fella in Herts.
Will do my best to check in daily,on here as it is helping me,I hope it helps you too.
Always up for a chat, don't ever think you are alone,you are not.
Look forward to our next yarn,please take care,Thanks again.
Thanks, I'm still not good at all but trying my best.
Sorry you are in such an unknown place at this time.
With PIP, you need to discuss your Mental Health again with your GP, I seem to recollect above you have other problems health wise, if this is the case your GP will have all your records and reports in one place, Pip automatically writes to your GP to find out your mental and physical problems are. What you need to do is Appeal against the PIP decision, and discuss that with your GP. Generally I seem to remember the point system is quite strict and you may need upwards of seventeen points although you will need that confirmed, I have not had anything to do with that Service for quite some time, that is why I have advised talking to your GP. You can also contact Citizens Advice in your local area, they will be able to assist in your Appeal.
Your GP will also be able to talk out these problems you have had with Mental Health, and if they have discharged you can ask for a further assessment.
Mind can help in a restricted way, possibly they may be able to give a shortened course of CBT etc, However, looking for treatment there may become problematic and they refer you back to your Social Worker or GP.
In the past I went through something very much the same, I was discharged and I had not understood that at the time. This was long , long ago, I went into Crisis and called my Trick Cyclist and was told in firmness to go back to my GP, My CPN was discharged and I was also discharged from the service.. My GP was notified and when I went back to the GP He had accepted the discharge.
You could also try attending A and E, you could try there to be admitted, they would then contact the Crisis Team and an assessment reached, they would then contact your GP and your CPN after talking to you. They would then talk to your Social Team.
When I was A Volunteer in a Day Centre I came across several patients who actually asked for A Voluntary Section, you could try that in A and E, It has been over ten years when I saw that and it did seem then to be quite common.
The Mental Health Service is the poor part of the NHS in some instances Talking out problems can be rationed. I went through a period where I was put through a course of CBT that was placed by my CPN, this was not an NHS service and you could actually go along and book yourself in for a course of treatment. They ran ten different services and they would advise before a recommendation to the type of treatment given. These services again were rationed so you would not be able to pick and mix over a given time
You could also try looking up in the telephone book and find if there are any Day Centres available in your Area, you would just turn up and be part of a group, eventually they may be able to offer a course of therapy, Normally six sessions, generally your CPN etc may suggest to you to attend one of these centres, they are very supportive and everyone seems to help each other. The one I was with had an information centre also a coffee shop, club where people would talk regarding their problems. Everything was done in confidence that members would follow. The support given was really good.
Talk to your GP and discuss a way forward, Your Surgery will have copies of all correspondence made with your Health Professionals. One thing you could do is next time you have a treatment in hospital etc is to be put on the mailing list. This is a service health Services must give. You ask for a copy of your results that were sent to your GP, a copy sent to you, you will then be able to get a copy of tests or treatment and you will be put upon a list, you only need to ask once for this and you will be sent letters at the same time as your GP. Your CPN etc does the same thing. When you get your letter you can make an appointment with your GP and discuss their findings together, from the letter you have both recieved
You are an angel in disguise,Thank-you very much for your information, will rebook with mind,see my g.p.and I was offered reconsideration thru money advice service,citizens advice sounds worthwhile, will let you know how I go,thanks again.
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This is less important than it feels, but I'd love some supportive words, please!
Opening up has made my intrusive thoughts worse 
Depression and being late for work
Advice, im deseperate
