Log in
Mental Health Support
22,618 members13,512 posts

Advice on depression and anxiety. Maybe other things I haven’t been diagnosed with are at play as well.

I’m a 23 year old guy, been suffering with mental health problems for years now. I rarely leave the house unless it’s to go to work. Luckily it’s a pretty stress free job so I don’t have much trouble holding it down. I get bad feelings at work but it’s the evenings, night times, and days off which are a real struggle. I don’t have much to live for and if someone offered me a magic pill that would end it all painlessly then I would take it. I love the idea of going to sleep and not waking up again. I haven’t got the balls to take an overdose or throw myself of a building or anything like that, which does frustrate me.

I have been self medicating with Cannabis since I was 14, it helped me cope with my nevative thoughts, it was a massive comfort to me but I came to the conclusion it was holding me back. I’ve managed to give it up and have been clean for a few months now but not much has changed and i’m really starting to struggle without my “escape” lately. A few years ago I was taking a lot of Cocaine and MDMA because it made me feel happy and comfortable talking to people but i’ve realised that’s not the answer and the comedowns make me feel even worse. I haven’t taken any of that in at least a year now though, maybe longer and I have no intentions of going back on it.

I’ve been seeing a counseller privately for a few weeks now. We talk about a lot of things, trying to get to the route of the problem but haven’t come up with anything concrete. I had an bad childhood, I’ve seen, done and had things done to me that I think have caught up with me and started to trouble me as i’ve got older. Maybe this is the cause but apparently there is a history of mental health problems in my family, so who knows.

I’ve been considering going to my GP and getting perscribed some medication but i’m a bit unsure. I’ve been against taking tablets for ages but i’m starting to consider it recently. I think it’s my only hope. I’m worried about becoming dependent on them though and i’ve tried a few types of anti depressants in the past that friends have given me and they made me feel very odd, it wasn’t a pleasant feeling at all.

I just want to have a normal life, like a girlfriend and a decent social life, they are such basic things but they seem impossible for me to obtain. If I had this, I think I would be so much happier. I cut off all my old friends because they were bad influences, but the loneliness is unbearable.

Can anyone give me any tips? Or is there anyone on here who can relate to what i’m going through?

3 Replies
oldestnewest

Hello Seems12345 and welcome to this community. I'm sorry to hear about your struggle but hopefully what you are experiencing will resonate with some of our members and they will share their wisdom and advice with you.

You say you have been considering going to your GP and I would agree with this as a positive step. In particular you can discuss the type of counselling you are getting and whether some form of medication may in fact be beneficial in your circumstances.

You have done a lot to help yourself and there is more help out there. Things will take time to improve and don't think that you are never going to be able to have the life you want.

In the meantime I would recommend that you look at the links to online help listed below.

the MIND charity site, which has a lot of very helpful information:

mind.org.uk

The Samaritans if you feel like talking to somebody - Tel: 116 123 [24 hours line]

Keep in touch and we will try to support you as much as we can.

Reply

Hi mate, reading your post was a lot like reading my own autobiography. It’s good that you’ve give up the weed well done! The amount of drugs I’ve took over the years I’m lucky I’m still here. I had a serious 11 year addiction and then after that switched to more socially acceptable drugs and partied for a few years I used drugs to dull the pain and cope but it’s not the answer as you know. It’s a good positive step talking to someone I recently went through counselling and it did help. I fought against going on medication 4 years but in the end it got so bad I would not leave the house and it effected ever area of my life. Over those 4 years I had tried 5 different antidepressants and I could not tolerate the side effects. Until I felt like I was losing it and went back the GP and I tried Mitrazapine started on 15mg Then was upped to 30mg you take them of a night no side effects.six months on and I’ve now got my life back. Each of us are different but it might be worth asking about.And I also had to cut off bad influences it can be hard at first but you have done yourself a massive favour! Getting rid of the negative peeps makes way for happier positive people into your life.There is light at the end of the tunnel. Take care and best wishes Cathy

Reply

Listen to Jay Shetty on you tube or his own website. I wish he'd been around when I was in my 20s. His goal is to make wisdom go viral.

I'm 38. I've been through a lot of depression throughout my life and I honestly believe that meditation is the best answer. It's not as ridiculous as it sounds. Go to a class or a few and learn how to do it. Transcendental is better.

Your issue seems to be your self-esteem. You don't seem like a waste of space to me and I have honestly never met anyone who is. Find what you're good at. Find out what you like. This state that you're in does not define you.

I also like listening to Mel Robbins. She makes a lot of sense. Do not give up. You have a good few decades of value to society. We need you!

Reply

You may also like...