Somethings wrong with me and I dont know what

[Br275]

I need help but I'm way to afraid to ask for it. I think I have anxiety and depression and maybe a whole mess of other things. I think about how my body looks and what other people think of me, I never take my shirt off cause I dont like what's under it. Social situations make me very nervous and I feel like people can see that which makes me even more nervous. I dont open up to my family, and even if I do it's mostly my older sister. My parents made me go to a counselor cause I'm gay and they wanted me to talk about it which, again, I dont talk about feelings or crap with anyone so that was just a waste of money. I dont fit in with my family and just about the only thing in common I have with them is that we all love the lake. Sometimes it will get to the point to where I think I'm useless enough that my family would be better without me. I feel like everyone hates me in my family and they're just putting up with me because they have to. I often get to thinking that I might not be alive long enough to get a husband and potentially kids. Everything's a mess and it hasn't gotten better and I dont know if it will. I hate watching TV because I see ads that make me sick to my stomach because it's all about getting the biggest and the best and I get mad cause why cant people be happy with what they have. I dont want to go to my parents cause they probably brush it off as puberty or some absolute crap and I dont want to go to a therapist or anything cause they scare me for some reason and I know they'll make me cry which I dont want.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello Br275

Thank you for your message. You are having a tough time right now, there seem to be so many things you are struggling with.

Families can be very difficult. If you can keep talking with your sister, this is a positive thing to do.

Our members are so supportive too and might have more information for you.

Please could you let us know how old you are?

It may be helpful for you to talk with your doctor or a support worker if you have one.

perhaps you tell us more about your situation and other things that are happening for you.

Take care and keep in touch

[Br275 in reply to MAS_Nurse]

I'll keep talking to my sister and I have noticed from the comments on this post alone that the people on here are very supportive, thank you!

[chbale]

Hi Br275

Sorry to hear of the problems you're having. You sound to be in a very similar situation to what I am.

I have anxiety and depression and, incidentally, I'm gay too.

You've done the right thing posting here, you've taken steps to get your issues fixed - sometimes the hardest part is admitting you have a problem.

I totally understand how feeling nervous makes you more nervous. I am exactly the same, I get anxious thinking people think I'm anxious which makes it even worse. Trust me, you are not alone with this, many others on this site will be going through the same.

Coming here is a great starting point but I do think (and I'm no expert) you would benefit from speaking to a professional about this. I'm not a touchy feely sort of person and it took me 6 months to seek help because I didn't want to talk about it. I don't know where in the world you are, if you're UK there are some amazing charities that can help. They have helplines where you can be completely anonymous - you don't even have to give them your name - you can chat about issues on the phone with somebody non-judgemental, experienced and caring. I understand your concerns over therapists but talking therapy really does help, if doing it from a distance and anonymously helps it could be a great next step. If you do end up crying you've probably managed to get a lot off of your chest and the person at the other end of the line won't have a clue who you are and it certainly won't be the first time they've experienced it.

If you don't mind me asking - don't if you don't want to - what was the counselling for around being gay? Was it to help you cope with it or some sort of conversion therapy?

I hope things pick up for you, as I said coming here is a great start, there's no need to rush anything, nothing is going to happen overnight but with a little help I'm sure things will get better.

Take care and message me directly if you ever want a chat.

[Br275 in reply to chbale]

Thank you, sadly I'm in the US and so that's no good. My parents took me to counseling just to talk about it cause I dont really tell them anything. I'm extremely glad it wasn't conversion therapy. Thanks!

[Hidden]

Hello Br

How old are you ?.

Are You living in the UK ?.

If you are not Resident in the UK, check Pinned posts on this site

You sound confused and very sad as you are in a complicated place that needs to be addressed. If you are sixteen and live in the UK you can visit your GP in your own right. Your Parents or family members do not need to go with you, You can go alone and your GP will talk to you and will not judge you. It seems you have complicated needs that need to be met. Your GP will discuss your needs and work out the best ways that will help you.

Your GP Surgery will also help in supplying various organisations that will help you address your needs, Many of these Organisations will have many people just like you and that will hopefully help you improve your confidence.

Talk to your Surgery, Make a double appointment and make a list of your worries, fears, stress and Anxiety

BOB

[Br275 in reply to Hidden]

Sadly, I'm 14 and in the US. Thanks for the advice though

[Hidden]

If your gay, why would you be thinking of a husband and kids ? You should be looking for a girlfriend who you will feel at peace with