Skipping School

[purplec]

For the past two days I felt like I couldn't make it at school. I hid in the bathroom with negative thoughts rushing through my head. I couldn't control it. I felt horrible. I started cutting my hair and my arms. I scribbled things on my arms and face. I felt so ugly. I hated my life and I hated my face. I went over everything I hated over and over again. Two girls found me there and got the teacher. She took me to the guidence counsler and they talked it through. I didn't want to say anything. I didn't have anything to say. I just felt that way. The nurse cleaned me up and they sent me to class. The next day, when I woke up to go to school, I couldn't really move my hand. I slept so deeply to forget and when I woke up the memories came back. I missed the bus so my babysitter was taking me to school. I offered her five dollars if she didn't make me go and she agreed. She told my dad that I threw up. I feel guilty. I don't want to go to school Monday. I just wish I could avoid​ it. I'm a 16 year old female.

[Jjlinx]

I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a bad patch, I suffered lots at your age too & skipped school loads! I’m now 29. What helped me the most is once I started to understand that it was a form of anxiety/ depression & the more I learnt about the conditions the more it helped. I wished I’d known then what I know now, I used to lie & come up with excuses so often & I wished I’d realised its ok to admit you just don’t really know what’s wrong & just tell it like it is. I think it would be worth you talking to a doctor & getting some extra support maybe? Don’t feel guilty, it’s totally normal to struggle sometimes & get angry etc it’s just about finding ways to cope with it all. Hope that helps a bit!

[purplec in reply to Jjlinx]

Thank you for the advice😀

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi purple. I am really sorry to hear that you have had a really tough few days and felt very anxious and felt unable to go to school, or to go into class. It may be that you are still grieving for your friend. Grief comes out in lots of different ways and I am sure you are missing your friend. Try not to harm yourself. Your friend would not like that. And I am sure you are a very attractive young lady, with your whole life ahead of you to study well and plan a good career for yourself. I think it is very important to go and see you doctor and take someone with you, family or friend that you feel comfortable with, and explain that you are feeling very low and anxious with unwanted thoughts.If you need someone to talk to, the Samaritans can help by listening to you....(Freephone) 116 123. Also you may get help and support from the Shaw Mind Foundation on their Skeet Line for young people, please check your screen for this. And also have a look at the Crisis Support in the pinned posts section. I think also, it may help you to go and see the school counsellor again and really talk about your thoughts and the way you are feeling. It can help to get things out in the open. Keep posting to let us know how you are and stay safe and well, so that you can get support and friendship from our caring members. wishing you lots of good luck and hope you feel better soonx

[purplec in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Thank you ☺☺

[hypercat54]

Hi I am wondering why you have a babysitter at 16? That seems very strange to me! x

[purplec in reply to hypercat54]

I know, everyone treats me like I'm five years old.😣

[hypercat54 in reply to purplec]

Well they can't complain if you act like you are 5 years old then! x

[Jjlinx]

I’ve just seen you have suffered a bereavement as well, Im sorry to hear that I had too when I started to struggle & self harm. I know it can feel like it helps at the time but try not to as you are bound to regret it later on in life when you still have the scars, I know I do. If you feel the need to hurt yourself again perhaps try something as simple as having an elastic band around your wrist & pinging it against your wrist to help relieve the stress or even scribbling on paper or going for a run or to the gym, just some ideas that should all help to release that pressure & anger etc.

I’d also say open up to a friend or family member about how you feel about school, pick people you think will be the most understanding then they can face it with you. The simplest things like a motivational text in the morning or knowing someone is there waiting to support you can make a big difference, plus the idea of it is usually much worse than when you actually get there

[purplec in reply to Jjlinx]

Thank you, I'll try putting a rubber band around my wrist. I heard you feel the pain but you don't have to get a scar.😺

[Jjlinx]

Good luck with school tomorrow, stay strong!