Stressed to the max

[tiffany1979]

So I have posted on here before about my fiancé and his ex and custody. The other day he tried to sit down with her to try and get her to have some compassion and compromise and well it went no where she refused every suggestion we made to her. Since the court had ruled on the custody it states that he is not allowed to move more then 25 miles from his current location I live 30 miles from his house and his ex will not give us the extra 5 miles refused to let either one of us drive there daughter anywhere. I have two children of my own and a house that is big enough for all of us I don’t want to move out of my house to be within the 25 miles. My rent is cheap and my house is comfortable and my kids love it here. It seems like if his ex is going to still have control then we are never going to be able move forward. How are we suppose to ever plan a wedding or move in with each other if he can’t move here? I’m so tired of the drama but I love him to death he is everything I always wanted but I can’t keep being put on the back burner. I feel like I should give up she wins. She’s doesn’t want him but doesn’t want him to have his own life. What do I do?

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi tiffany, I'm sorry this is a really difficult situation for you both, and I'm not sure how to advise. Have you thought of having a chat with Citizens Advice Bureau citizensadvice.org.uk/to see what they might suggest?

Have any of you dear folks got any suggestions?

Take care.

Very Best wishes.

[hypercat54]

Hi you hang on in there if you love him. Can you tackle the court ruling of 25 miles? I am sure a judge wouldn't penalise him for another 5 miles! If you are in the UK why not seek a half hour free with a solicitors, many of them do this. I hope you manage to get it sorted. x

[sweetiepye]

Which is more important to you the house or the man ? Move.

[tiffany1979 in reply to sweetiepye]

It’s not just the house. My kids have lived here there whole lives they are in a school district they have been in since they started school. Our rent is cheap we will never find a 3 bedroom for the amount I pay now everyplace is triple what i pay. I can not take them out of the school district and anyplace we would move is a different school district. I have sacrificed a lot in this relationship and he has not sacrificed or fought for us or this relationship at all.

[Veryunimportant in reply to tiffany1979]

Dear Tiffany1979,

I can relate to this, had my own version

I admire you for standing on your ground, compromising too much has no dignity,

sorry that you had to explain yourself and your life situation again because a commentor asked you if you loved your house more and ordered you to move,

Hope things get better for you soon

happy new year

[sweetiepye in reply to Veryunimportant]

Very, I'm afraid you've misread or misunderstood my reply to Tiffany. In my opinion people are more important than houses hence the suggestion to move. Tiffany was gracious enough to further explain her circumstances which put a different slant on her problem.Please don't patronize me by apologizing for me. I am quite capable of doing that for myself if I feel the need to. Pam

[sweetiepye]

I guess you've answered your own question. It's good to find out now where he stands and what you can expect. People can tell you anything, but it's what they do that you need to pay attention to. You can expect a life time of being controlled by this woman through your partner. I have to say I admire you for putting your kids first, so many women don't. You are not a loser, in the long term you may be the only winner in the situation. Pam

[AjMiki]

It's a case of bitter ex calling the shots here!

If you want to be with this guy as you clearly love him, then do whatever necessary, you must do what is right for you, so yes stay where you love being! It's up to him, just like you he will do whatever is necessary. I hear your frustration he's not trying hard enough, so look at this objectively, throw it all back to him, nicely, and stop taking this s*** on board - with complete respect Tiff, you still have to crack on with or without him.