Stressed, Depressed, But well dressed.

[Lush__x]

Im irritated...i dont no why. i just feel irritated. Mainly when i come home from work and with my mum. It makes me feel bad. Ive always been moody but i feel like i cant be cheery around my mum anymore, i cant put my finger on why though. Its like i dont want to encourge interaction incase i start to get irritated or something? i dont no.

Since coming home from work today ive been feeling sad and sorry for myself, ive not felt like this for a long time.

Ive been back work nearly a month now. its great being with all my old friends and made a new one and we all have a laugh. My ex comes up in coversation alot...i do get nervous someone is going to tell me something i dont want to hear.

Nobody likes him though and never did ...which is good to know.

Hes been texting me alot recently, he wanted to meet up and explain his behaviour (again). he even went as far as to say he "would come to me" and "im clever & understand him" & "to just give him a chance".

i dont want to hear his shitty excuses...

I advised theres no point and he kept on and on and wants us to be okay and for us to be mates.

So i finally said what ive wanted to say for the longest time...i told him he was manipulative, controling and sometimes horrible to me and thats why we could never be okay. Said i was so stupid for staying with him for so long.

hes not replied. i bet the truth hurts.

Been seeing one of my regular on and off boys recently. we decided to make it offical sat night....since then its just the same old, me not hearing off him. So back to being alone forever and all that boring stuff i come out with.

On weight watchers again, want to lose another dress size before xmas so i look extra fab at the work do. especially compared to the skinny bitch my ex started seeing at my work.

i have to see her every day and i really feel like i could smack her...i hate her, i just rant inside my head everytime i see her.

Been interval training....doing the couch to 5k thingy. On week 5 next week. Never ever run this long in my life. Im so proud. lost 2.5 pounds last week...i hope i lose this week. ive got a feeling i wont have though as ive used up all my points where as i didnt last week.

Loads of bits and pieces i need to do, keep putting them off. so tired after work.

i am getting my 5th tattoo soon...going to book it on sat. Excited...we as excited as i can get these days.

anyway this is just a rant...not expecting advice or anything just needed to get it all down.

[Suzie40]

I'm glad you're not looking for advice, as my nose is too blocked to give any! Relationships with Mums ae a strange thing. I know that much of the way I react to my Mum's alcoholism is linked to how close we were when I was growing up. I was obsessed with her and that's why I get angry at her now, for not fulfilling the role I've always needed.

You absolutely don't need to lose weight to get one over the skinny bitch! She might look great (she probably doesn't) but I bed she farts in bed and wears Bridget Jones knickers. In no time at all she'll be as miserable with him as you were , and before you know it you'll be comparing notes.

As for the on and off boy (never heard it called the before!) - don't worry about it. He's obviously a commitment phobe and probably still sleeps with his teddy. Or his Mum.

Very exciting about the tattoo - whatcha getting? X

[Lush__x in reply to Suzie40]

Hey Lucy, oh dear are you not well too?? its all going round my office...ive had a sore throat for a few weeks now!

i think i had a similar relationship with my mum when i was younger....very dependent and in a way i still am i guess.

oooooh i want to lose weight anyway, for me. everyone keeps telling me how fab i look and how i dont need to but im used to this slimmer me now....and i want to get to the size ive always dreamed of

oh she finished him within a month...people at work have told me he was controlling with her. so good on her for getting rid like but i still hate her with a passion. tramp...who goes after someoens ex after they have just split up with someone! id be ashamed if i was her....bet she hates seeing me in work haha.

haha well we have been on and off for 5 years now...this is my pattern with boys ive known for a while. theres a few of them that flit in and out of my life...sometimes its them and sometimes its me that sort of gets fed up or not interested enough.

and your right he is a mummys boy!!

Im going to get a back piece done,,,my nan and grandad had a cherry blossom tree in their garden, i loved it growing up so im going to get a real life, black and grey cherry blossom branch. with one petal falling off for my nan (she died 4 years ago coming up)

x

[ThemysciraDrive]

Hey Zoe. Look on the bright side - you're well dressed, so you're one better than me!

I'm guessing from other posts you must be about my age - mid-20s-ish right? Do you still live with your mum? 'Cause that drove me nuts until I moved out. In fact both times I've moved out, first for University, and then about 6 months ago just 'cause I needed to, I've instantly started getting on much better with my mum. Could be the irritation is just the wanderlust, the need for independence.

Good that the ex may have finally taken the not-so-subtle hint. I had a similar experience with the same result myself. Properly lost it with my ex, and she isn't speaking to me now. Funny how she considers that a sanction, yet I consider it quite beneficial!

Maybe now is a good time to just be you for a while. That's kind of how I'm thinking. Might not seem great, but the thing about relationships like you had with your ex is that it does take a long time to sift through the wreckage and rebuild the damage from them. It sounds from how you feel about the skinny bitch that your ex is still affecting how you see yourself and your world quite a bit - that's nothing to feel bad about, it's natural. And you will be vulnerable to people like the on/off guy who are just looking to take a quick slice of advantage. Now might be the time to say, f**k everyone else (or everyone else with Y chromosomes anyway!), and spend some quality time with Zoe. She seems a pretty cool person to be spending time with

If you've got a Kindle or some such try downloading Narcissistic Lovers by Cynthia Zayn or Why Is It Always About You? by Sandy Hotchkiss. I've started reading those lately and found them quite helpful in terms of processing how I felt about my old relationship.

Lucy is dead on about losing weight - don't think you need to compete with anyone. I think you need to meet some guys who don't judge beauty or worth by dress size (we do exist, honest!!). Nice one on the running though, definitely something to be proud of, and 's a good natural lift because of the adrenaline release. Got a specific 5k time you're aiming for or just to have done it?

I've always fancied some ink...a Fender Jazzmaster (guitar) on my arm. I'm a big fat coward though

Kind of went against the no advice thing there and waffled for England. Hope some of it was useful!

[Lush__x in reply to ThemysciraDrive]

Hey there 

Haha that made me laugh  im always well dressed…its my interest!

Yeah im 25 and do still live with my mum…I did live in London for a while though. I never thought id want to move out but I think im getting to that point now, I spend most of my time home from work in my room, on my own.

I plan to move to wales at some point in the near future to conduct my phd so looking forward to that.

Haha these people are wrapped aint they! Bet hes sulking now because ive not reacted the way he wanted and ive moved on and don’t want anything to do with him.

Im glad we’ve both got to this point 

I agree…I know im still a damaged soul from that relationship and you are right I think it is good for me to be on my own. I just have a slight panic that im not going to find anyone that’s all. I don’t mind not having a boyfriend…its just the thought of NEVER having one again.

Awww thank you for thinking im cool haha that’s cheered me up!

I love recommendations for new books!....i have got so many to read but I will try and get them too…they sound really interesting and something I should be reading.

I know there are some nice lads outs there who don’t judge on things like that but even if im with someone like that I kind of just think they are lying about my figure and they could do so much better. I hate the way I look, so id like to at least be a dress size smaller.

Well im doing that couch to 5k thing….sooooo the ultimate goal of that is to run for 30 mins. Im moving on to week 5 next week so im about half way through I think!! I just want to get my fitness up and ill start weight training soon again…which I love!

Oooo nice…there are some fantastic music pieces out there! I have a friend who is in the process of getting a full music sleeve…looks fantastic but ive always been a sucker for a man with tats!

Its not as bad as you think…it hurts yeah but you just have to master the pain. I have a needle phobia (mainly blood tests) and I am squeamish but managed to have a tattoo on my wrist! Couldn’t look because of the thought of it going over veins (blegh!!!!) but I did it! So if I can anyone can!

It was very useful thank you for taking the time to reply…I like waffling! I waffle to 

[Lush__x in reply to ThemysciraDrive]

I have now ordered these books!