i NEED HELP..what does my future holds?? is it normal pre-adult period that everyone goes through?

[blackie007]

Age : 21 now

Life started changing : 2 years

Mental state before 2 years : i was a [edited] rockstar ..

So yeah , i need help , ive never done this before , not in person not anonymous, even though its completely anonymous i still feel resent in writing all this, i dont know whats wrong with me , ive been not doing anything for almost 2 years now , ive left my studies , have not left my city for 2 years , ive no friends left either , and those who are gonna leave soon i know, the thing is ive always been a silent kid my whole life , everyone thought i was very matured and way above my age , i was good in studies , i was the most popular kid in my school , had everything , confidence , ambition ..

then 2 years ago something happened , i tackled it for sometime but gave in and left my uni and came home , ive been sitting in my home for 2 years now doing nothing , ive not ambition , literally i dont want to do anything but still i dont like the situtation im in , theres a stigma against going to psychatirist in my country , my parents care for me but they are giving up on me slowly .. i really dont know what my future holds , i get panic attacks most of the time when i think of my past or future , i guess i just want to live in the present doing nothing , i cant leave this comfort zone ive created , its like ive traped myself into myself..

i know the stuff i wrote is mostly confusing and wont even make sense most of the time , but thats the main thing , how do i describe something that even i dont know myself ?????

though writing all this has made me feeling a little better , i would really like if someone takes the time and reply

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi blackie007, and welcome to the forum. I am pleased to hear that writing down how you are feeling has helped you to feel a bit better. Many people are helped by doing this and some people keep a diary, too. I have removed one word from your post [due to inappropriate language that the forum does not allow]. Your post shows that you want to do something about your situation which is really good. It may be a good idea to take small steps and start by talking to your parents about how you are feeling. They love you and will want to support you. Perhaps you could start by seeing your GP and explain how you are feeling. Please stay on the forum where you will receive support from other members. Is anyone able to help blackie007, please? Happy New Year to you.

[ladeda]

Hi Blackie, life can feel so confusing especially if we cocoon ourselves away from the rest of the world and just try to understand what's going on on the inside. It's difficult to envision a future when lacking motivation or passion of interest in what excites us, I know in my 60+ yrs I've had such highs and lows sometimes wishing someone could help me know which way to go, but sadly it has to come from within. Of course having others around you for support is a priority and they can come in so many shapes and forms, friends will always come and go, the key is not to be too quick to judge those that come into your pathways as we can all help each other sometimes without even being aware of it.

Talking to a medical practitioner is sometimes useful, after all they are trained to listen and even if they can't help, what have you lost? some might say they feel worse from going to a doctor, but they don't tie us down and make us have their treatment, so always remember you do have control about trying anything that feels right for you, just try to ask questions.

Like what you have written here, try writing questions down, it doesn't matter if you don't immediately have any answers, but by forming a question it can subconsciously help you look for the answer in time, it can be your own fears that are just holding you back and those fears are merely an illusion we create ourselves.

Never underestimate what you put inside yourself! our diets are proven to have effected both how we function and think for centuries, yet we continue to be sold on junk food with feel good factors. It's not easy, but we can take control and turn everything around, all each of us needs is to decide to take the first step in a direction and keep going that way.

You feel safe at home at the moment, but I get the impression that you want to brake out and feel free to soar again, inside that quiet you is such a strong young being who's just a little afraid of some of the knocks that we all have to take to help us learn. Please don't be so afraid once you get back out there you'll realize everyone else is also hiding their fear in some way or another and find they can have fun and succeed in anything they want as long as they don't stop trying.

Whatever studies you gave up maybe they weren't what you enjoyed? It's never too late to return, I still study as do a lot of people that just find the world an interesting place. Happiness comes and goes its not worth looking for as it will find you and when it does neither can you grasp it and not let go as its like water and will just slip through your fingers if it has a mind to, what's more important is to have love, both for yourself and very much for others, love give you an inner calm and helps to dispel anxiety.

Things that are proven to help, meditation and mindfulness. Just start with a few breathing exercises, a couple of minutes meditation. Go onto YouTube for guidance if you want to try, there is so much help and tuition on there all for free.

Yes sometimes that first step into an unknown future is scary, don't let it hold you back just keep moving and soon you'll be running so fast all your old friends will struggle to keep up.

Love and hugs, M xx

[blackie007 in reply to ladeda]

Thankyou for your reply, made me feel alot better ,your vision of world is way more posutive and optimistic than mine but i think that comes with age , ive only seen world for sometime and i don't like it , its just that its really difficult to get back on track again , ive been stuck for so long and i hate it and never in my wildest imaginations had thought i'll be in the situation im in right now , i was a straight A student my whole life , student of the year in school, and now ive been idle doing nothing for 2 years , ive never someone falleb so hard from above like me and it just scares me....

[Hidden]

Try different things that you may think you may like. Maybe start a plumbing course, or volunteer for a charity and see if that takes your fancy, or do TA work in a school, or try retail if you like people. Or like me, you can go back to uni and give it another go. I’ve dropped out of uni 4 times and still got my degree so it is possible.

Just keep trying different things and go with the flow. 😊

[blackie007 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for the reply, well i do want to start my studies again in an interesting department of my choice and my parents will fully support me , its just that ive a huge fear of failing again , i dont want waste my parents money again , and this fear keeps holding me from doing anything .. well congrats for your degree , i cant even imagine droping out of uni 4 times and still not giving up, takes alota courage .. wish i had some :v