Hi,
I’m new here. Kinda just looking for answers or advice or just some sort of reasoning.
I have been feeling low for about 4/5 years now. Something traumatic happened to me which is where it all began. I never really paid much attention as I assumed it would go away, but, it didn’t. I often thought about Suicide, ways to make myself ill so I’d end up in hospital, how I could just not feel pain. I got into a relationship with someone who knew I felt this way. He was very manipulative. Controlled me in every way possible. Whether that be the way I dressed, who I spoke to, where I was and who I was with. He physically hurt me numerous times, but, as I was so insecure he was the person I went back to time and time again. He was the person who despite all of that made me feel good, sometimes. Fast forward 6 months to this day, I feel my ‘condition’ has worsened. I’m over sensitive to things, constantly exhausted, always emotional, extremely insecure and I have a terrible fear of being home alone incase someone comes to hurt me. I struggle to walk alone in the dark as I get anxious with what could happen. I went to the doctors maybe a year ago, and simply broke down crying with how low I’d been feeling, I was referred to a psychiatrist, to which I never went. I was petrified enough to speak to a doctor. I couldn’t bring myself to speak to a professional properly, then it would make this real. Anyhow, sorry to bore you all, just need to sort myself out. I can’t cope any longer. I need some sort of guidance. Thank you.
I would try the Samaritans and Mind help lines in the first instance.
They will likely say this, try and go back to your GP for another referral. This stuff is real, there is no getting around it, why not discuss it with someone in a position to ease your symptoms and financial problems?