Two years ago I had a mental break down and I went to the doctors who diagnosed me with anxiety and depression. He prescribed me sertraline. This did help me get back on my feet like going back to work after taking some time off. However recently since September I have been under a lot of stress with my relationship, work, friends and just life I guess. About two weeks ago I flipped out and ended up smashing the remote and screaming at my boyfriend which I do regret because it is so out of character for me, but because of his behaviour towards me recently it has pushed me to that point. Anyway my moods have been terrible. Now it feels like the stress has maybe brought on these awful thoughts I am having - the anxiety is at its peak right now. Everything bad that happens I constantly obsess over it and think of the worst possible outcome, and I know that in reality those things probably would not happen but I have to keep going over it in my head and analyse the details and tell try to tell my self right, this is not going to happen because blah blah... I really can't explain it that well but it's doing my head in. I keep looking for reassurance from my friends and they are like 'I am sure you just look for something to worry about, don't be so stupid, there's no helping you.' I'm pretty sure I am doing there heads in with it but it's just so hard I can't snap out of this. All these problems I have been having has now turned me into a right negative energy. I could go counselling but last time it took five months to get onto it and by then I'd sort of got better myself. I don't really want to go on sertraline again but with the way That I am at the moment I am considering it. Thing is I don't think it's going to work as it did last time as maybe my body is used to it, I only come off it in June. I just want these negative thoughts and bad dreams to go away. I feel worthless, useless, a failure and I can't go on like this. I'd appreciate any advice guys.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
X x x