Obsessive thoughts that bring me down.

[BesaDeBishop]

Hi Gang,

Hoping to get some feedback from those that have worked through this issue.

I seem to constantly search for negative thoughts. As one disappears, I search for another one. As that one becomes less important, I think up another one, or return back to the previous negative thought.

I am an older man and quit drinking a few years ago. It seems that since I have gotten more physically and mentally healthy, these obsessive thoughts stand out.

I am happy a lot too, and am definitely not suicidal, but I want to ask the questions:

1. Is this normal to obsess?

2. Strategies to defeat this behavior.

My coworker brags how when he leaves work, he doesn't think about it at all.

Any and all help/tips/advice/websites/apps are what I am asking for.

I don't want to see a shrink because of the stigma.

Thanks.

[Rick1on1]

Hi,

It's pretty normal to reflect or even obsess about the past, present and future. For some people it is easy to "switch off" when they leave work - for others not - so I would not worry about that too much.

You need to give an indication of what you term a negative thought.

As for tips to divert your over-thinking - you should try and keep your mind busy by having a hobby or how about writing a book about your life. Does not have to published but could be something you leave behind to your loved ones.

[Clarebear86]

I agree with rick, you need to try and keep your mind busy and occupied. It’s good that you can challenge your negative thoughts. Not so good that you look for others. Some of us have trouble with just one negative thought, or lots of recurring negative thoughts with no way of challenging them or proving them wrong. Some of us even see negativity in what people have to say. We can’t see anything else, which continuously brings us down.

[Gambit62]

this post might give you some ideas

healthunlocked.com/couchtob...

[Hidden in reply to Gambit62]

That link post is a good analogy!

Mindfulness seems very similar, dealing with and challenging intrusive thoughts instead of trying to block them out.

[BesaDeBishop in reply to Gambit62]

Thanks Gambit.

[sweetiepye]

I am quite unhappy with you Do you realize that most of us on site have, are, or will see a shrink at some time.You have just insulted the very people you expect to help you . I don't think I care to be one of them and you can have your negative thoughts. Seeing a shrink is a positive action to take for recovery. You can stuff your stigma. Pam

[BesaDeBishop in reply to sweetiepye]

Pam,

Yes, you are right. That was a selfish thing of me to say. I need help with these mental problems and a shrink is probably the best person to see.

My stigma concern is not for here, but for the real world. I currently work in a profession where seeing a therapist etc may disqualify me. That is what I really mean.

My hope/goal is to learn from folks, like you, the strategies etc. they have. Those strategies may have been obtained from a Dr.

Plus, it is awesome to talk to folks who are dealing with the issues.

When I stopped drinking, I used an online forum to help me learn all of the ways/issues that booze involves. That community save my life.

I am optimistic this place will help me as well. In turn, I may be able to help someone back.

Sorry sorry.

[Zoea in reply to BesaDeBishop]

It's cool. I would even go as far as to say that sweetiepye 's post was unreasonable. Stigma attached to getting REAL help with mental health is unfortunately real and that is going to take a little time to change.

I went through a period of a number of weeks a few years ago where I would simply repeat in my head the last thing I heard / thought. It was not good. I was not at the stage where all this repetition was a negative thought, but it was harrowing. I would suggest for you try and focus on WHY it might be that these negative thoughts are echoing. Are you trying in your MIND to gain traction on them? Solve it? I'm sure you are. Almost nothing you can do is actually negative. You need another coping strategy. You will find it.

How long has this been going on? If it's too long you may have to bite the bullet and see a Psychiatrist. You may also try CBT and Mindfulness. Silencing thoughts is easy with practise

Best for the future wishies.

[BesaDeBishop in reply to Zoea]

Zoea,

I love this interface. The email notification that someone has responded is amazing.

Thanks for the info. As my official retirement date is in view, direct pro help will be more of an option. For now, I am reluctant to open up to my Dr., wife, boss, friends etc. About my obsession issues.

When i quit drinking is when I began to care more about all of this. I was self medicating. I finally had a full check up last month and was diagnosed w high bp. I hadn't had blood work done in 9 years. I was afraid to go to the Dr. My bp is being treated now and I have a plan.

Just posting here and getting feedback has already seemed to make a difference in my obsessions. I am more accepting of my perceived situations. I am working to compartment issuses from work into work and generate issue closeure quickly. That is what the happiest folks I know seem to,do quite well.

Part of it is a desire to feel important. I have been in the same line of work for over 20 years. When the boss decides to not seek my input or not use me on a project I get my feelings hurt.

I need to let that go. He is content w my effort no matter, I am in no trouble, and am taking no drop in pay. So I need to move on and close the thought...forever. forget about it.

I plan to keep posting and reading here. The feedback is exactly what I needed.

Thanks.

[sweetiepye]

I hate the way people with mental health problems are treated, and it turns out you are a victim also.You will find what you seek here. I am sorry I was so touchy, it was certainly counter productive.People on site are supportive and caring. Let me start over by welcoming you to our site. We are happy to have you. Pam

[Zoea in reply to sweetiepye]

xD

[BesaDeBishop in reply to sweetiepye]

Pam,

Thanks.

It is good to have a support group. Virtual support seems to work pretty well for me. It is helpful, directly free, and convenient.

As I worked to quit being a drunk I went to a few AA meetings. F2f support is obviously the best. That is part of my plan if needed...as is going to a shrink.

If I can generate mental health satisfaction here and from other means I currently feel ok with, that is my plan.

I get direct feedback everyday, from my wife, kid, and workmates. I feel accepted and generally comfortable in my skin because nearly everyone is cool w how I act.

Only you all here know my inner demons.

Thanks.

[sweetiepye]

I'm not sure I could do f2f T hat takes a lot of courage. I admire your attitude and having people in your life who support you is a blessing. I hope you will continue to be a part of the forum. Pam

[BesaDeBishop]

The interface popped up and caused me to get back here and read this old post.

Cool. I am still a tea totaler and loving it. My obsession issue really seemed to improved with time. I am at the point now where I care, but stuff hardly sticks afterwards.

Family issues, work, personal perceptions etc. I am over it. I basically hardly obsess any more.

It must have been booze related. As my brain normalized, the obsessing settled down.

Thank God.