I have not been on here for a long time I have suffered from depression since my teens. Taking medication mode of that time. A lot has happened during my miserable live. I was bullied. Had a unhappy marriage told I was not good. Put up with it for 30 yrs. 2 children. 1 son does not bother with me. I feel I am not good enough for his posh wife’s family. My daughter is partially sites and learning difficulties. 2 grandsons I don’t see. 1 grandson now20 I brought him up. He has epilepsy and narcolepsy and leaning difficulties. Lovely till 17 then out of control. Still trying with him. He took overdose in July was on life support for 8 days in hospital a month thank god no lasting effect apart from a little memory loss. He his in a new place now and things seem to be moving on ok for him. Today I got up after a nother bad night . Then I started crying and now I cannot stop. No got dressed or washed or eat. I just want to go to sleep. Then the physical pain and mental pain will stop.