Falling apart

[Confused-Cookie]

Hi I’m new here!! Just looking for some support I guess..

I cheated on my husband after 11 years...... and probably deserve to feel like this... He was my best friend, soul mate my world - I just don’t fancy him and am not sure I ever did

I feel like I’ve ruined our girls lives as it’s so venomous now.

I’m so lost and lonely I miss my family

[Poorna66]

I am sorry things are so bad for you. I am not sure what to say to comfort you but try not to dwell too much on what you did and see what you can do now to fix it. You acknowledge that you made a huge mistake and you are feeling bad about it so thats a start. Would your husband be willing to forgive and work through it? Do you want to try? Have you seen a therapist?

[Confused-Cookie in reply to Poorna66]

I don’t know what I want. I think it’s gone to far to fix. He’s confided in his family who have never bothered with us before, he’s suddenly all family orientated yet we were so distant from them before...

I’ve not really spoken to anyone. I spoke to a (new) dr at my practice and broke down which resulted in a call from social services! I’m petrified to speak out to anyone.....

He’s upset and angry but every day that goes by I try and feel different I look at old pics and try to find the person I met.

He refuses to give me any money yet I’m still paying our phone bills and credit card plus all child care and so much more, phones and credit card all in my name so can’t just stop paying (I earn £123pw!!!!) and that’s when I get angry. I’ve mothered him to the point he only had to pay 1 bill in 11 years 1 lump sum to me which I distributed between every household bill. I honestly don’t know if I’m coming or going I don’t want my girls around his sisters yet I can’t stop him

I really am confused

[shurdygirl09 in reply to Confused-Cookie]

There's a reason you chested in the first place and you said you don't think you want to fix it or it's gone to far to fix it, So have you thought about moving out with the girls as I imagine it's not very not nice for them. I think it sounds best to end it now before it get really nasty, I've been there and it's really not nice and I worry for you and your girls. Please take care xx

[Confused-Cookie in reply to shurdygirl09]

Thanks, I’m with my mum. The girls dad moved out in Aug. Kids are ok, they see there dad but he won’t agree to bring them home in time so I can keep the routine I’ve got going etc.

Woke up this morn over my overdraft with a returned standing order and charge of interest..... he won’t pay his way

It’s crap

[Poorna66 in reply to Confused-Cookie]

Can you not cancel the joint credit cards, phone connections etc so that you stop paying his share at least? I can understand him being angry with you to not help you but it is not right that he doesn’t pay anything to raise the kids he helped bring into the world. If like you said, it has gone too far to fix, then your best bet would be to make a clean break and start separating bills etc. don’t worry about his family, people always enjoy dramas. They will soon back off once it all cools down. Try to keep things normal for your girls and not to worry too much. I know it is easier said than done but problems dont last forever. I hope things will be better for you soon.

[Confused-Cookie in reply to Poorna66]

Hey xx

Thanks for the msg , no I can’t they’re all in my name So even if I cancel them his phone I still have to pay the line rental each month which is pretty much the bill it defeats the whole object.... credit card again in my name so my problem 😔