New job anxiety and fear of relationship falling apart

Hello everyone, few years ago I was diagnosed with depression. About two years ago my doctor put me off my meds and decided that I was fully recovered even though I don't necessarily feel that way. I experience a lot of anxiety and sadness.

I had to leave my job because of the stress it was causing me and now that I have found a new job, pehaps a better one, I should be excited and happy, right? Instead I'm freaking out not only because I'm worried I won't do well, but I'm also worried that the job will have a huge impact on my relationship.

My boyfriend works early shifts, usually from 4:30 am to 2 pm. The job I'm about to start is a full time day job, 9 am to 6 pm. We don't live together yet, our goal is to move out in the next few months. But I am so terrified.

I'm terrified that we won't have time to see each other or even call each other on breaks. I'm so scared of this possibility that our relationship will suffer because of our job commitments.

I would have preferred a part time job but none were available, so I took the best option that was on the market. Can someone please tell me if I'm having panic attacks for no reason? Should I really be worried or am I just being too sensitive?

The job itself might actually turn out to be amazing, the only disadvantage to it is that it operates on a 7 day schedule, I could work any 5 out of 7 days, including weekends, while my boyfriend's regular day off is always Sunday.

I'm feeling very anxious at the moment, I considered talking to my doctor but I don't think she takes me seriously anymore, thinking that my depression is surely gone forever...

5 Replies

  • Hey there, I kind of understand where you're coming from. My partner recently started a new job in Liverpool (4 hours away) and he stays up there for 3 days a week. Like you, I was terrified at first that I wouldn't cope without him. He's on his third week now and I must say I'm actually quite enjoying it! I use the time he's away to do my housework, catch up with family and friends, and spend quality time with the kids. Then when he is home, the time we have is quality time, and we do lots of nice things. Give it a go, think of the extra money you'll have, and perhaps evaluate it after a few months? x

  • Thank you Lucy, I'll certainly give it a go. I just hope I won't freak out at work and suddenly decide to leave it...

  • Hi ,

    I agree with Lucy's earlier post . Very down to earth well organised lady . For goodness sake don't give up your new job now ! Give it a try for at least 3 moths or 6 . You don't want to sit at home all day , bored to death , worried about money & bills , and even more depressed .

    You and your partner will gradually adapt to your new circumstances and reorganise your life . Stay open minded and positive . Don't rush things !

    Maybe you should talk to your GP or a new one if your depression and/or anxiety keeps growing this month . Maybe you are stressed and need a little break to feel calmer/ better .

    Take care and try not to worry too much . Just live in the present . cecilia13 x

  • Hi Cecilia, thank you so much for your reply! It's been 3 days since I started working, I think I'm getting used to the new job. I know it's my stupid anxiety telling me I'm doing things wrong or being judged by people all the time, I try to silence but it doesn't always work.

    My partner and I agreed that work is important since we want to move out together and need funds for that, we're going to cherish every little moment spent together even if it's just once a week.

    I would love to change my GP but it will be a long process and I kind of want to avoid complications at the moment, I really need to focus on the new job and getting it right.

    Please keep your fingers crossed for me and once again thank you for your kind words! :)

  • glad I have been sort of helpful, at least supportive .

    Will keep my fingers (and everything else!) crossed for you . Good luck !

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