I'm new here but I have had anxiety and depression for a while... I need to find my self worth and repair relationships.

[Cakeandyoga]

I have had depression and anxiety for just over 2 and a half years, whilst I have been receiving treatment I do not feel that I am managing very well, to the point where my friends and family are losing patience with me and my stubborn attitude.

In the summer, my mood and mindset was extremely positive, I was happy and I felt in control; having recently finished my studies at university and then going abroad to study a language over the summer on an intensive course. However, ever since returning from my trip abroad which was particularly intensive, I have had major issues with self confidence, self worth and very negative low moods. I am ruining relationships with my family and boyfriend, they feel I am self obsessed, but it is me over expressing my worries; I do not like my personality or myself, so the thought of self obsession makes me sick.

Everyone has been so supportive but I do not know how to behave without making them feel as though I am self obsessed or ungrateful when I am speaking about my worries. I am trying to not to become anxious but recently my sleep has been greatly effected by anxiety and uncertainty of my future career having just graduated. I am waring everyone else down with my negativity and problems and I just want to feel like less of a problem for everyone.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi Cakeandyoga, a warm welcome to you on this forum where I am sure you will receive lots of support and good advice from our caring and helpful members. I am very sorry to read that you have been suffering from depression and anxiety for some time now, that must be very hard for you, your family and boyfriend. I am sure they just want to see you happier and feeling less anxious and perhaps they do not really know how to help you at the moment. That can make relationships difficult and tense, for if you are feeling tense your relatives will pick that up and in turn be taciturn with you. You say you have been receiving treatment but not managing well at the moment. Are you still having treatment and is this in the form of medication/counselling? Can you request some more treatment from your GP or Health Professional? There is hope there for you to feel better again , so don't loose heart. as you say you felt positive over the summer and seemed to have coped well while you were studying abroad. It could be that you are stressed and exhausted from your studies both at university and on this recent intensive course. That can cause anxiety and low moods . And in turn this can lead to a poor sleep pattern. Have a look at the website ....sleep council and sleep matters.....they provide some good advice about sleep patterns. Also as you mention, you are worrying about your future career. It may help you to feel better in yourself and receive more treatment before you start applying for jobs as that will put even more pressure on you. But on a positive note, you have completed your university studies, got your degree and graduated. That is a very big achievement and shows lots of strength of character. So try not be too hard on yourself and maybe try and talk to your family and boyfriend and say that you are trying to feel better and need their help more. And maybe see your GP and talk things through with him/her. Keep posting to let us know how you are, we are thinking of you, lots of good luck, best wishes to you........