Me

[kieranblood1993]

Feel like I really am suffering and having s breakdown. 5 months ago my wife to be split up with me which lead us to sell our dog losing my house and moving back in with my mum. Since then iv found my self a new girlfriend but it doesn't feel the same but she's a lovely person but I just can see it. The break up has really effected me and I feel like iv got nothing left to give in life. Iv gone from enjoying work socialising and playing sports to not wanting to do either now. Recent arguments with family as well who don't know how bad I'm suffering hasn't helped. I enjoy nothing iv tried going to the doctors that hasn't worked and now there's nothing left for me. I don't know where to go from here

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello and welcome Kieranblood1993. I am so sorry you feel like this at the moment and it is understandable. It is a bereavement and everything that goes with that. Perhaps speaking with your GP to request some counselling or cognitive behaviour treatment or mindfulness. It would be best to book a double appointment with them so you have time to express your thoughts and feelings. It is so nice that you have found a lovely lady, try not to compare her with another and enjoy something new and different. Do you have a family member you feel close too and are able to talk too? If you do, then they can explain to the rest of the family how you are feeling and perhaps ease the tension between family members and yourself. We have many supportive members in this community that can also support you, so never feel alone and best wishes to you.

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Hello Kieran

I am sorry to hear that your wife to be split from you. Both of you had to sell your dog and then you had to move back in with your parents. Those are major changes in your life in a relatively short space of time.

I am not surprised you are struggling and not feeling like taking an active role in the world around you at the moment.

Breaking up with your wife to be is similar to a bereavement. Have you given yourself the time and space to 'grieve' for your lost relationship and any future plans you both had dreamed about together? Have you had time to 'grieve' for your dog too. It sounds like your body may be trying to tell you to slow down and give yourself the time to rest and take in all that has happened. Be kind to yourself and make friends with you as you are now. Perhaps some alone time exploring new ideas, finding something new that you feel feeds your soul. Start gently, it is important that you go at your own pace.

Moving back in with parents is never easy. Maybe you are still hurting and feel unsupported resulting in arguments. It takes time to adapt to changed circumstances, your parents may be adapting too.

It is great that you have found a new girlfriend if you feel that it is helping you. However, any new relationship will never be the same as the one you had. It cannot be because we are different people, affected in different ways by what has happened to us.

So, you have a blank sheet of paper in front of you. You can choose whatever you would like to do when the time is right for you. But first I feel you need to give yourself time to recover. You will know when it is time to engage with life again. It will happen. I wish you well

Lottie x

[Memyselfandi82]

Break ups can be one of the most hardest things in life. By your name I'm assuming your 24 yes old. I'm 35 and have suffered long time. Please I urge you to finish it kindly with your new gf as you said it's not the same so that isn't enough. You say she's a lovely girl so she deserves to live her life plus she doesn't need to be around you if your that bad. It's Obvisioulsy a new relationship so it'd just not be good. Let her go sweetheart please. Call her to meet you. Do the right thing not to hold onto her coz your family aren't helping and she's a nice girl so it'd be easy to keep seeing her but you know you don't feel the same. I have sympathy about the doctors but try another doctor till you find someone you feel really happy with which I know is depressing to keep going back. I have no answer but if you can talk to a family member knowing they'd take it seriously then do so. Good luck. Take one day at a time and I Promise you that gf wasn't the one if you split. You will find someone but seriously shouldn't be thinking about GF now. You have more to deal with and it would be selfish of you to bring them into your life when your so I'll. Take care ok.x

[kieranblood1993 in reply to Memyselfandi82]

It's beyond hard I found after my ex split up with me she cheated on me with someone who I called a friend st the time someone who I work with and I have to his face every day and that does me in more than anything