Hi, so where do I start. Well, I'm feeling really low at the moment. I'm trying to put a positive spin on thing when I can, but at the moment, it's not helping.
My mum died last year and i miss her dreadfully. I keep feeling guilty that I didn't do more. I feel alone, even though I have family. I feel empty and afraid. I keep overeating and dieting, then repeat. I find I'm obsessed with silly games on the iPad that uses up masses of time, clash of clans etc. I wonder what the future holds and how I'm going to escape from this emptiness and loneliness. I cry, but the pain stays. My GP isn't too helpful and treated me like I was 'odd' when I saw her. She even said...' Mmmm well, you are a worrier, and a very anxious person' she then put her eyes to the ceiling, and sighed and said that I should just calm down. It wasn't helpful. I walked out crying. She phoned up in the evening to apologise, and said that she'd had a bad day.
I have a wonderful husband, a wonderful daughter who I am so grateful for. Two sons who now live hundreds of miles away in the town, (we in country, they hate country) and some friends, yet I feel I have the emptiness that I cannot escape. I feel alone and afraid and I'm crying again... Will life get better? How can I climb out of this lonely, empty, dark place. Thanks for listening, sorry for the ramble about me.