I am only coming to terms with my mothers murder that happened nearly 15 years ago as I was a small toddler when she died. My step father killed her. I suffer from severe depression and panic attacks, anxiety and complete lack of sleep. I get scared when I leave the house every morning for work and I try to be happy but I'm simply not and I need help on what to do ... As I feel I make everyone else unhappy and that's the last thing I want to do.
Six weeks before my mum died, my uncle died which was my mums brother in a motorbike accident as well as I remember more if him than I do my own mother, I miss them both so much.
My step father pushed my mum off a cliff and he took myself and my brother to that cliff the day before her death. That might have affected me as I remember that day so well. I have suffered with depression from around 9 or 10 years old. I have panic attacks with my family ... Knowing if they are safe, as my grandparents(on my mums side) looked after me when my mum died and if anything happened to them... I wouldn't be able to cope. My grandad has already had a stroke and that was unbearable having to watch him go through that and not being able to help him.