I feel like I want a relationship, but whenever I start thinking about getting closer to someone, I start to feel incredibly awkward, look for double meanings in their side of the conversation, or just put up defences and become aggressive. I hate flirting as well, thinking why would someone like me ever flirt.
In my last relationship, I would get so frustrated about small things but not want to say them to my partner, and would just go off and not speak to him at all. Not very mature I know.
Does anyone else put up barriers when it comes to potential relationships? Like self-sabotage.