Starting again

[wainwright73]

First time on here, so I apologies for my ramblings... but here we go! I suffer from anxiety/depression and have done for as long as I can remember, occasionally taking meds to help me through the rough times, but usually just try and get through it all on myself. I've recently hit rock bottom again, contemplated suicide, but never really believed i would. I can see light at the end of the tunnel, I've started to organise my debts that I keep on ignoring, put some ghosts away and started a diary again.. I just wish I could understand WHY I have the panic attacks, depression I can understand I guess, and control... hopefully! What I'm getting at is how/are there tricks to stop the anxiety and social phobias?

[j_a_w94]

Hey it's great that you've acknowledged that there is light at the end of the tunnel. When you're in dark times its really hard to believe that. Have you thought about getting cognitive behavioural therapy? I've been having CBT for 6 months now and have found it incredibly beneficial for identifying where my depression stems from and overcoming my mental illness. It's a slow journey but every step forward is going to get you closer to that light

[wainwright73 in reply to j_a_w94]

I've tried cbt, one to one counselling and even acupuncture .. CBT didn't work for me, I just seemed to be so far ahead of it that I didn't get anything from it if that makes sense

[j_a_w94 in reply to wainwright73]

Yeah I think I know what you mean...do you have close family or friends that you can talk to about how you feel? This platform is so great to share how you feel too, maybe just talking to people who are here to support you is the best thing for now.

I'm sorry that professional support hasn't been very helpful but look how far you've come on your own.

You are obviously a strong and driven person and those assets in themselves will help get you to the end of that dark tunnel and into the light. You may need support along the way but you have the drive to get there. Be kind to yourself and recognise the capabilities you have within you. X

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi Wainwright 73 and welcome to the forum. It is good that you can see the light at the end of the tunnel and are taking steps like organising your finances, as this will help you to feel more in control of the situation and less anxious.. It may be a good idea to arrange to see your GP so that you can explain how you are feeling. Help is available, such as counselling and medication and together you can decide on the appropriate help and support. Please be reassured that you are not alone. Many people find it useful to keep a diary. Please have a look at the pinned posts to the right of the screen which you may find helpful. Please continue to post on the forum. Other members will be along to provide support. Best wishes.

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Hiya, good question. I am not sure there is always a 'Why?'. Maybe, like me, you are just an anxious person, but that does not mean the anxiety has to win. I take beta blockers, which help to some degree. I was also a line manager in the emergency services before retirement, which could be pretty stressful and, I can assure you, there was plenty of panic, not just by me ! So, I guess, we just have to live our lives within our own capabilities and frailities and I think the one lesson I have learnt after 59 years is that I am terrible at worrying - terrible in the sense that, what I worry about never happens, so why do I do it !!!??? Take care,