Emotionless Causing Me Fear

[Nsemz99]

I've had depression and anxiety since I was about 14 and I go through seasons where im either free of both or I go into months of dread and emptiness. It seems like I've entered a season yet again, and its one of the hardest ive had. It all started with health anxiety which then progressed into the fear of me going mentally insane and then intrusive thoughts raced through my mind which torment me. Now after endless worry it seems like I'm just void of all emotion and I feel nothing, and this terrifies me because I used to in tune with my emotions. I've had this feeling of emptiness before when my depression randomly resurfaces and goes away within a few days but this time it just feels off and super weird. I'm scared that this absence of emotions will make me insane or never feel anything again.

[Hidden]

Hi. Sorry to hear of your struggles.

Have you ever had any therapy to discuss how you feel.

🌺🌼🌺🌼

[Nsemz99 in reply to Hidden]

I have in the past and am now waiting for my first session which is scheduled for June 13. It just seems so far away.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello Nsemz99,

Welcome to our supportive community. Well done for taking a brave step out of your comfort zone to reach out for help. Hopefully you will find folks here are only too willing to come alongside you and share from their personal journeys and experiences.

You are obviously having a difficult time right now. May I urge you if you haven't already to seek professional medical advice from your doctor or mental health practitioner. There are a range of therapies available, not just medication, to help you explore your feelings and unhelpful thought and behaviour patterns.

Do check out our Pinned Post section for our free mental health guides, international crisis support helplines etc.

Keep in touch!

Best wishes,

MAS Nurse

[upandup84]

Hi,

I have grown to enjoy my emotionless bouts because I use them to do things my anxiety usually stops me from trying.

You say you are emotionless, yet you are worrying- due to negative emotions and causing negative emotions. See-it's a start.

Now each time you feel a negative thought cropping up do a chore- wash the dishes or walk the dog. Pick just one job to do (the same one each time). Do this every single time a mere fleeting thought crops up. Eventually the pain of having to do the job will outweigh the thought and your brain will retrain itself.

Just try it 🌱

[Nsemz99 in reply to upandup84]

Will do, thanks for the advice! Right now I just tell myself "your thoughts dont define you" but I read somewhere that it's not healthy to do.

[upandup84 in reply to Nsemz99]

It is ok to have these thoughts if you have something to back them up with (solid proof)- so, for instance, a basic example would be if you believe someone is talking about you behind your back say "okay, what evidence do I have?" ...... if you have some then okay the next step is to decide whether to act on that proof or simply change things in order to not have that person in your life. BUT, if there is no evidence, let it go. There is no solid evidence, therefore, it is not happening.

Same with other thoughts, if they are backed up by evidence then you have a choice- act on it or if it is something unproductive that you would prefer not to be part of your life, then get rid. If there is no evidence, it doesn't exist.

If you start giving a fleeting negative thought your attention and effort, it gives it substance. It starts to exist. When you train your brain to nip the thoughts in the bud, without what it needs to survive it ends up shrivelled and withered and it cannot exist.