Me and my 15 year long partner broke up at the beginning of May and he totally turned his back on me BUT it was me that called it off last November and we agreed to be friends which we were and still saw him regularly, holding hands when we were out, him staying for meals etc. but when I wanted him back properly in May that's when he said NO. I had finished things twice before over the last few years. After thinking a LOT what happened I put it down to my mental health problems and I was telling him not to visit me more and more as well. Now I am left heartbroken and am struggling to be without him. I keep thinking of all the happy times and holidays we had and although I know he wont come back I cannot accept it is over and its all my fault. I have written to him sent him texts but I get no response at all.. I get up most mornings feeling I have nothing to get up for nothing to live for, feel there is no point in anything, not interested in doing anything, housework or going out, and when I do see family or my friend its as if I am just going through the motions and most of the time I just want to go home, but then feel lonely. I am 65 and cannot see any happy future, nothing matters, I cant stop thinking of my ex. How will I ever feel better and happy.