It's such a long story....
I dated a man for five years who ended up going to prison. He deceived me and treated me horribly and once he was locked up lead me to believe he was changed. I I believed him.
However, while he was locked up I met an amazing man who was a farmer who just got out of a ten year relationship. We had our ups and downs and when my ex was released from prison I actually got back with him but I lied a lot to my farmer and I hate myself for being dishonest.
The last few months I got back together with my farmer and broke it off completely with the prison guy. It's been hard for farmer to trust me.
Two weeks ago I emailed my ex and sent him some photos of us from a long time ago because I was going through them and deleting them.... I just sent them and said I thought you may want these.
Farmer looked through my emails and saw that I reached out to him and broke up with me. He told me there has been too much deceit and that he is officially done after giving me so many second chances. I didn't cheat. And my intention was not to open the door of communication with my ex but it seems that way to my farmer. I am so heartbroken.
I don't see point in continuing without him. Im 30 and want nothing more than a happy life with children.
I messed up.
I hurt because of guilt and because i hurt him..