Depersonalization

[Minileah1218]

For a few weeks I've felt like this may be happening to me. I'm planning on asking my new therapist ab it soon, but I feel like I could have DP. A few weeks ago I started understanding what was keeping me held up in the past. I've felt for a while now that everything that happened before my first therapy appt wasn't even real. Like it was all a dream. There's this fog that's covering my brain as to what's happened my whole life up until therapy, & I can't seem to blow it away. I know it happened to me, but I fail to realize that it was real bc I feel like I've watched my life from an audience. I can see, touch, & smell things, but I never feel truly connected to my body like I'm living them. It's so hard to get through & explain. I truly need some support, bc I'm feeling like this has been something I've struggled with.

[sliverofsun]

I've felt this way often before. This sensation of being an outsider in my own life ebbs and flows. While it's happening, I have to constantly remind myself that it will pass. Lately, I've been writing in a journal, writing letters to people that I'll probably never send. I try to be as raw and honest as possible, to the point where I feel the tears well up. This strange habit I've adopted seems to help my mind stay rooted. I do it for that purpose, and to get to know myself a bit better, to see what sets me off, why I feel especially out of it some days. This also has the unintended side-effect of making me feel less lonely, thinking that maybe someday, I'll deliver the letters. XD Not sure anyone would want to read them, but it sets my mind at ease. Well, you could also write to somebody, you might unintentionally make a connection that will be more mental than physical, which is something we all need. In any case, I'm also here, if you'd like.

[Minileah1218 in reply to sliverofsun]

I should totally try to do this. I love that idea. Do you think it sounds like that's what I'm going through right now? I mean I've heard so many stories about DP & it sounds spot on to how I feel.

[sliverofsun in reply to Minileah1218]

It's definitely a possibility, but I'm not qualified to answer this particular question. I would discuss it with your therapist, maybe in doing so, you can find some clarity to your situation.