....all I can do is type here ...

[AvaP]

....all I can do is type here to try and calm myself.

Pillow soaked with tears, can't breath through my nose and I'm thinking I should turn on my light and not lay in this darkness.

I have such anxiety from barely working 10 hrs last week And the same this week.

And a friend of mine coming to visit me next week and I can't even be excited about it because Im too prideful to say that I won't even have money to go out and do things with her 😳

That I'm so upset with how "weak" I am for not"getting over" my depressed thoughts and just pick up more hours to be able to afford one outing with her.

I'm dreading scrolling through the extra hrs list.....dreading😢😢😢

Afraid all I'll do is cry the whole time she's here and she'll be secretly wishing she could go back home. ..

[Sarah1111111]

im sure your friend would understand, everyone has times when we are short of money. Or find activities that don't cost much - a picnic or walk. If its the evening childhood board games night and DVD with pop corn - always makes people go back to their childhood and smile!

Things will get better but it does take time. You might find that your friend is able to support you in getting better if you are able to open up to her. Have you any other family or friends around?

[mz_rachel]

Girl I feel you on every level. It's my first day at my new job tomorrow and I know what you mean. I actually had to share with my boss that I would probably need a minute if anything bc of my anxiety/panic. Hope you're doing better now.. I'm sorry it's getting to you today. I've had my fair share of episode yesterday. If you ever need to talk, I'm here...

[Hidden]

Hello

Do you not feel your problems are caused by your Pregnancy, many women suffer low mood because of this condition. You will be giving birth in near three months time, your chemistry will be up and down and you will be anxious regarding forthcoming event

BOB

[AvaP in reply to Hidden]

Yes. It's definitely elevated since I got pregnant. To an inconsolable level

[Hidden in reply to AvaP]

Try Mindfulness Relaxation Technique and Breathing Exercises, they may help you relax and control your mood hopefully.

Your GP I feel will not wish you to take Anti Depressants because of the pregnancy

BOB

[AvaP in reply to Hidden]

Yes I agree..no medication

[20Voices]

I hope you managed to get a little sleep.

You should confide in your friend, I am sure she will want to be there to support you.

I have gone through this many times and at the moment I am walking the line between being alright and heading down that path again.

The positives and good things that you need to concentrate on from your post are the following.

Your friend is coming to visit. This means that you can have fun catching up on what she has been up to. You can also spend time laughing about things you've done in the past. Think about the positives. You don't need to go out all the time, sometimes it is fun to stay in and just catch-up. Cook a meal and maybe hire a movie. True best friends are always there for you and understand life's ups and downs.

You work 10 hours last week, the is sometime to be pleased about. You are working 10 hours this week and challenging yourself to take on a few extra hours. Look at that as a positive challenge. Be proud of taking to the challenge.

It is really amazing how powerful words can be. I did work with someone on finding out the types of negative thoughts I was having, when they happened and how to recognize them happening. Once I was aware of them I then did work on how to adjust my thinking so that I am able to stop any downward spiral getting worse and also recognize when I need to seek further help.

You are not weak for having depression. You are strong because you recognize the problem and you are here talking about it and you are wanting to get better.

I'd like to help you more, but my rough night last night with nightmares means I am finding it difficult to concentrate at the moment. I had to work hard to control my own thoughts last night and lack of sleep doesn't help.

I understand the money problems as I am struggling to get a job right now and my benefit payment doesn't last long by the time I pay some debts.

Struggling with negative thoughts is a daily struggle, but learning to recognize them and how to deal with them helps.

Take care

[Aleighp]

I feel what you're going through soooo much, I am constantly arguing with myself, am I just a lazy piece of shit that doesn't want to work? Why can't I just get over it and work like everyone else does?!? Honestly reading your post made me feel a lot better knowing I am not the only one that feels this way. It's so hard though I honestly don't even know what to say, I wish I could be honest with my employers and just let them know from wen they hire me that I might have a few bad days here and there, but then it's like well why would they hire someone knowing that they're gonna miss work?

The money thing is something I struggle with as well, but honestly your friend will understand. I know it's hard, I beat myself up over it constantly because I feel like a child when it comes to supporting myself. But everytime I suck up my pride and let my friends and family know what's up, they always help out.

I hope you feel better, I'm always here to talk.

[AvaP in reply to Aleighp]

Knowing you're going through the exact same thing definitely alleviates the pain. Thank you A...