Heartbroken and devestated

Hi I was 17 and 25 when I got blank mind syndrome and I recovered from that. I'm 50 now and was doing good for 25 yrs. Then a whole year of anxiety and fear showed up out of no where. I battled it the best I could. I was on lithium since the last time. I'm so angry this has happened to me again. My thoughts just started slipping away. It was so scary. It's been 5 months now and I'm so besides myself. Dr has me on Lamictal 150mg a day and lithium 600mg a day. My lithium levels last week were really low so now I'm taking 900 mg once a day. Morning is the worst part of the day. Just knowing I have to push through the day and how painful it is. Does anyone have anything that has helped. I'm in counseling and mindfulness and meditation doesn't help. I never wanted to go through this again. It's more harder this time. I have no thoughts to start a conversation. I can express my emotions but blank after that. Thanks for any help.

15 Replies

  • Hi 11112 nice to meet you and welcome to the site. I must admit I had never heard of this before I googled it and it seems to be saying it is caused by brain injury? Is that the case with you? If so a brain injury site might be able to help as well.

    I can't add anything to this except I hope you find some answers. I am sure some of our lovely members will be in soon to try and help.

    Meanwhile can you please familarise yourself with what this site offers as there are lots of links here and information. Can you also have a look at the Community Guidelines which you find in the Pinned Posts.

    I wish you all the best. Lil x

  • I have found a website where other people have the same condition. But not much information about how to help improve. Was trying this site to see if I could get some help. It was caused from the anixety and fear for a year. No brain injury. Thank you for your reply. Drs are aware that when you go through so much your brain (a certain area in the brain) will shut down to protect itself.

  • Hello I have a short term memory disorder and in my case they did five weeks of test with a scan to check me over. Eventually they cleared me and put it down to opiate medications and additional drugs I had taken for over thirty years.

    When I was at school I was a slow learner and they thought then I was born with memory problems, now known as Autism.

    I now do special coping techniques that bi-pass my short term memory and I use mid term memory part of my Brain, it does work although by the end of the day I get tired.

    I mention above as my short term memory does go blank on me, I have to use different sayings and association to shuggy me into my mid term memory of the brain


  • I was researching on this topic and found something called (GAD). Sound like a symptom of this problem I have. Wanted to share that.

  • G.A.D.

    General Anxiety Disorder.

    Try Mindfulness, Relaxation Technique. Also various Breathing Exercises


  • Thank you

  • Mine seems to happen when I'm stressed and overwhelmed. I was in school when it happened at age 17. I kept studying to get good grades and I got to overwhelmed and it happened. Was 25 and also in a very abusive marriage and had given birth to my son. I got postpartum depression from having him then it got worse and I had the same symptoms again. Now 25 years with no symptoms or counseling or hospital stays Im here again. Thanks for your input.

  • I get unable to get words out when I'm stressed. I have them in my head but just can speak or my head goes blank, it's not permanent and just lasts an hour or two. I sleep and keep minimal communication got a day or so. It is when really stressed i.e. Near hospital admission if don't recover.

    Bizarrely I can text a conversation. So there is some sort of disconnect between mind and verbalisation but not literal.

    It's awful so I can't imagine the fear, anger and frustration you have for your situation.

    Have you tried communicating by text is that better? I'm just wondering.

  • Yes I've done texting I can respond to people's questions or explain my emotions. But for ordinary conversation it's not there. I'm like that all the time. It doesn't stop.

  • After I ended a marriage, I was subjected to so much stress and psychological abuse that this trauma alone nearly finished me. I became mute (definitely NOT by choice) and was unable to speak for months. When I tried to speak, people would think I had a learning disability. I actually have a degree from a very good university and also a postgraduate degree. My mind simply shut down. I taught myself how to form words again by initiating conversations with people on the bus - just very short statements - but that took SO much courage...

  • This really is a long shot but have you ever had your B12 levels checked. B12 deficiency can cause various psychological disorders and serverely impact on your ability to cope with stress.

    This is a list of symptoms of B12 deficiency just in case anything else on the list rings a bell. The symptoms tend to creep up on you very slowly over time - so things may have been going on for year but you just haven't reflected back and noticed them.


    as I say - this really is a long shot.

    I had 40+ years of depression and anxiety which only went after I was diagnosed as having a B12 deficiency and finally managed to figure out where I needed to keep my B12 levels to be okay.

  • Do you buy the over the counter B-12 or is it a shot? Thanks for the information.

  • I have injections and also use supplements.

    Oral can be effective where even for people who have absorption problems (though dose needs to be very high) but doesn't work for everyone. Suggest that you raise it as a possibility with your Dr first and see how that goes.

    Lots of support in relation to B12 deficiency, diagnosis and treatment on the PAS forum


    I have to emphasis - this is a long shot. Dietary deficiency is another possibility if you are vegan or don't eat much meat/fish/dairy/egg.

  • Thank you I will mention it to my doctor. Not a vegan.

  • No I don't believe that I've had that checked. The Dr only che cks my lithium levels every three months. I only know that the medicine Im. Taking hasn't made a difference since ive been on it. The last time I had this problem it was having to wait it out.

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