Help please

Everyone please think positive thoughts for me. And from those who believe in God a few prayers please. Just a little help to get by needed. Bad day here. It's my late Mum's birthday. I miss her. I'm sad, lonely, tearful, and hanging on. No job, no hopes, no direction, no idea what to do, no future, it's a pointless existence. And more tears. Just need some positive thoughts to get through today.

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  • Sending you warm thoughts Blueshirt, please try and start doing little things to help yourself. A lot of us here probably feel like you do, but if you do t change something then nothing will change. It's your late Mums bIrthday, she would not want you to be miserable.

    Why not mark her birthday by doing one thing to change your situation? Doing anything will help,

    Hannah

  • Thanks Photo.

  • All the prayers and positive thoughts within me, Blueshirt, are coming your way!! I was just missing my mom, too! I'll ask her to look out for yours. So, you have, a ton of stuff on your plate. What's the weather like there today, sunny, cloudy? Sunny, but cold here. I'm looking up at the same sun that you see. You aren't so far away. I'd have you over for a talk & coffee ( or tea), if it weren't for the ocean. Go ahead and allow yourself your grief today. Put the other stuff aside until tomorrow.

    And there is always hope. I have a little I'll share with you.

  • Many thanks WhiteAlice. It helps receiving your reply. Cloudy and cold here

  • That sun is behind those clouds. ☺

  • Positive thoughts coming to you Blueshirt. I too lost my mum 4 years ago this year and feel very sad on her birthday, funeral day and Christmas. My sisters and I usually get together to remember her on her birthday which does help.

    It is only 1 day so allow yourself to grieve for her today. Tomorrow make an effort to sort your life out and be happy as she would want you to be. I believe our loved lost ones are always here watching over us as our guardian angels. Light a candle to her if this helps. Take care. x

  • Many thanks

  • Deep Peace to You

    Deep peace of the running wave to you.

    Deep peace of the flowing air to you.

    Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.

    Deep peace of the shining stars to you.

    Deep peace of the infinite peace to you.

    - Adapted from ancient Gaelic runes

    Read it feel it. Here catch.

  • Thank you. What lovely words

  • Thinking of you Blueshirt and hoping you're ok, it's a sad day for you but we must think of the good times we have had with those we have lost.

    Always remember her smiling, miss her but realise that you have to keep going, I'm sure she wouldn't want to think of you sad and tearful.

    Sending best wishes to you.

    K.

  • Thank you Kimmieblue. I try, I do so try. But I so miss her smile, her wit, her kindness and her love. Thank you

  • I miss all those things about my mum too. It'll be two years in a week or so since she's been gone and it was quite sudden so I never got chance to say those things that really matter, I know she knew that I loved her but it still makes me sad, miss her so much.

    Bless you Blueshirt. Take care.

    K.

  • I understand. I'm so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are yours. Thank you for your kind thoughtfulness. It helps

  • Bless you, I will pray for you and your in my thoughts too.try to be strong it's what your mum would have wanted, I know it's hard sending hugs your way today, god bless you, surely things can't get any worse x

  • many thanks Tillymay; it means a lot to me for you to respond. Thank you

  • Your welcome remember I'm here for you, I know what it's like to lose your mum as I lost mine when I was 16, it's very hard without them, just remember she is still by your side take care blueshirt and remember I'm here for you

  • Many thanks Tillymay. You're wonderful

  • Wow. Sorry to hear what you've been through.

  • Hey Bluey! I'm sorry for your loss.

    I am blessed to still have mine. The day she leaves has lately been my worst nightmare 💔💔💔

    I don't know what to say or do that will ease your sorrow other than to ride it out. I wouldn't hold emotion in either. Cry it out ... shout it out ... just get it out.

    Now:

    "No job, no hopes, no direction, no idea what to do, no future, it's a pointless existence."

    We need to deal with this situation AND negative thinking. Continuing to think and believe in this manner will eat away at you until you're a bedridden hollow shell. You MUST, MUST, MUST find a way to change. We CAN change and control our perceptions. Sometimes it's the hardest thing on earth to do I know. I failed miserably yesterday, but am better today ... and so it goes.

    There are two points you need to deal with as of now and you need to deal with them ONE and ONE only at a time.

    1. There are far tooooo many no's in your post.

    2. "pointless existence." Who says so? What's make statement true? Nothin'. Nothin' makes it true.

    When you can, I'd like for you to get a notepad out and rule up sole columns. List all your "no" statements. Then you need to start challenging yourself and problem solving. What type of work would you like? What's stopping you from getting it? How far would you be prepared to travel for work? Would you consider other work? Do you want fulltime or something else? Would you volunteer in the interim? Don't just depend on one method of searching ... .Would you retrain? You do the "no hope" in a similar way. Re "no direction" ... could someone experienced at an employment agency assist? Sorry I'm not from the UK so I don't know how it all works over there.

    Pull your Bible out and start reading at least a little.

    You're in God's hands so you're not alone k?

    Bless 🙏

  • I don't enjoy the style of the translation of most bibles, and when I am feeling low I don't particularly believe in its contents. Most of the time I feel that this world, sad as it is, is all there is and that there is no after life.

  • I'm very sorry that you feel this way 😦

    You need to work out what's causing the depression and go from there. Depression will not go away on it's own. And ... it takes hard work and commitment combined with a positive outlook regardless of how you're feeling. I would urge you to NOT focus on the internal. Focus on the external ... focus on today ONLY and DO things.

    "Accept you ... rest will follow."

    Re the Bible ... try YouTube:

    Pastor Greg Laurie; The Bible Project; Robert Breaker and Mike Winger.

    Blessings to you friend.

  • Many many thanks

  • if you get through today you are stronger than you know, god bless do , try to get out of the house today to make the time pass quickly

  • Make small steps .....maybe keep a diary,write down what you want to do. Target a day. I will say my payers for you.

  • Thank you Oliveprincess.

  • How are you now blueshift?

  • Hi Oliveprincess. I'm a lot better now. Thank you very much for checking. It's very reassuring to know you care. Thank you.

  • I will pray for you my friend. GOD BLESS

  • Many thanks

  • Hi blueshirt

    I feel your pain and immense distress as I am also very lost and fed up and depressed .

    At least you have lots of good memories and your dera mum was there for you and you enjoyed her love and attention .

    Your mum still looks after you and she would not want you to be desperately sad on her birthday .

    Maybe you need a break or a holiday for a few days to forget everything and every one .I have tried the following : knock myself to sleep for most of day with tablets , watch tele or some good tapes nonstop a whole day , same with listening to music (until your mind goe numb and the awful thinking stops) , go out and walk for miles or just sit on a different bus for hours looking at people and things out of the window , writing it all down in a diary or using a tape (record your thoughts&feelings) .

    At least you get some relief/ space to breathe for a few hours or even a day if lucky .

    Unfortunately I have no long term solutions because I could then cure myself and others of my terrible chronic worsening depression and we would all at last be free and happy !

    See my problem page under " very lonely but still hopeful" cecilia13 blog posted 21 days ago .

    Thanks for reply and staying in touch . Cecilia13

  • Huge thanks ceclilia. Your advice is very helpful

  • That is good to hear. Just remember you are not alone.

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