I have basically had it, medication after medication, alternative treatments, ECT. One on one therapy, and I am at the point, where, there is nothing more that can be done. I thought I had it under control, had almost 4 good weeks, but, as usual, it (depression) has come back. I don't know where to turn, what to do next. Just making it through the day is a chore and I don't care about anything, let the world blow up,, I don't care. I have had some success in the past, but it does not last. Deep down, I feel, just let me get cancer, or a heart attack, take me from this place, as I could not do it myself. Nobody understands how desperate I and other people are to be cured (feel normal). It is all that I desire, to wake up one day and feel normal. Over forty years of this crap and it is amazing that I am still here. One positive thing I can post, is that writing in a journal has helped, as I can write down what I feel, exactly what I feel, no matter how bad it is and say to myself, it is written, now I can let it go.
I know there are a lot of people out there and that suicide is on the rise as well as mental health issues. Just like cancer and heart disease. Is it in the air, the food, the vaccines. Why as a society have we not conquered these ailments??? Thanks for letting me post, I wish nothing but the best for any and all of you.