I have recently started to feel really low, cry a lot mess up a lot and just really start that falling in to the darkness again, I had postnatal depression with my first 2 children and on my third I was determined not to be again, an i did fine I had really go days an some bad days, up till last month just out the blue like falling of the diving bord belly flopping on to the water. Just starting to feel alone locked out of my own mind, like some one els want to drive but there not interested in how they do. I have no real idea why I seem to have falling out this boat I guess, I can't seem to talk to any one about it , I would rather not its like I'm losing more strain on them or there like [here we go again, just grab some pills for your doc and your be fine] . I seem to be getting a lot on panic Attacks out the blue and even writing all this don't I feel better or like any one will understand , it's hard to talk to your friends family husband even they just seem to shake it off like she will be fine, I remember my mother words to my husband when I first had postnatal depression, she always like this it's normal for her. my husband didn't agree but his answers was some pill will sort it out, my friends seem to avoid me talking about how I am and over talk with there lives and then when I get to say how I am there busy or got to go or there mods have switched off on to nod and ya, no , I get you , your be fine . So I guess I'm locked in a box well that how is feels all over again alone in a dark room hold all feeling and emotions, acting ok mum wife daughter sister.
A bit of a all over the place post but at lest I can tell myself I told at lest some one
Sorry about the spelling and the randomness of how it all seems but that's my life right now 😕