Social Advice

Hi guys,

At the moment, I'm on break before grad school starts. I'm also unemployed and don't have much to do during my days.

I find myself laying in bed most of the day depressed. However, lately I've experience alcohol cravings. Now I used to abuse alcohol and drugs. Drinking on occasion is fine, though I try and stay away from using on the daily, if not weekly. But lately I've had intense cravings to drink.

I don't know if I will go overboard and use it as a negative coping tool for my depression. Therefore, I'm a little nervous to drink socially, but I want to. I was invited to a friends birthday party at a bar and I don't know if I should attend. On the one hand, I think it'll be good to be social and get out since I haven't in a very long time. The alcohol will loosen me up though to make me feel less socially awkward. On the other hand, I am not confident it will be a healthy environment for me since my cravings are present.

What do you guys think I should do?

P.S. my ex best friend is going to be there. She stopped being friendly when I left for the year on a trip of self discovery and to find inner peace.

[blackcat64013]

Hi Liba,

Thank you for sharing.

My first thoughts were that you do need to go to the social event to take your mind away from your depressive thoughts.

Options you could consider are

* putting a few thoughts down on a card you can carry to the event to remind you that you will be not drinking and what I will order instead (favourite non-alcoholic drink)

* contacting someone else who is going and offering to be their "designated driver" for the night. Your excuse for not drinking alcohol

* making a deal with yourself to be there for a specified limited period of time, that is ok to leave early

* changing your thoughts about your ex-best friend - plan to speak to her or plan what to say if she approaches you

The other issue is your long term mental health. You need to check in with your doctor. Make a long appointment to discuss your overall physical / mental health and wellbeing, then focus on your mental health treatment options and preferences.

Have you tried AA (alcoholics anonymous) for support re alcohol addiction?

Maybe you can offer to volunteer with an organization to give you a reason to get out of the house. Volunteering gives you something to do without the pressure of performing in a paid job.

Hoping this helps

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I like your ideas of going to the event and not drinking. Remembering my favorite non- alcoholic drinks, designating myself as driver, and staying for a short period of time are really good ideas for me. I can actually see myself attempting those but I am still not confident in my self control around alcohol when I am in that type of environment.

Also, I have no idea what I'm going to say to my friend. She doesn't want to be in my life anymore, which makes the social event even more awkward. I think I maybe can find another social event that is more beneficial to my recovery, I think?

About my mental health check ups.

I have a great psychiatrist. My therapist went out of network for me so I only go when I am doing very poorly - $250/hour is absurd. AA/NA meetings were found very unhelpful.

I used to volunteer a lot. I find it difficult to have the motivation again to commit to something though. I really should though. I am actually going to try and do that this weekend. I need to get out of my room.

Thank you for responding to my post. It helps a lot to hear objective opinions.

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I went to the bar. I drank half a drink and tried being social. The overall night was not pleasant.

It's just not my scene nor do i enjoy hanging out with drunk combative people.

Never again am I attempting to be social at a bar. Terrible decision.