Stuck in a major rut...

[kel110]

Hi..first time I have posted and could really do with some advice I have anxiety and have done from an early age but am now seeking help to combat this! My 'rut' is that I seem to be in some vicious cycle...I'm 46 and a single parent literally struggling.. I work a rubbish job which is part time which means I am just about covering bills..I have very little money left over. I have no support network either - I don't see family although I do have friends.... I would love to go back to uni but lack of money, support, transport and added debt stops me. I just feel like I have done nothing in the last 6 years and time is running out! I don't seem to get opportunities and if I do, I can't take them up. It feels like this is how my life is going to be, well, forever. I don't think I'll ever meet anyone again and tbh I am living a sad, lonely life. I do not take medication and don't feel I can do anything until my anxiety course is up in 5 weeks as I have been having trouble sleeping. Some kind words would be nice!!! Xx

[Grants]

My buddy! I’m sorry you’re going through this. I want to say...keep your part time job while looking for other employment. I’m sure you have done that tho. Perhaps try Uber or Lyft.

The kind words

You’re a single parent. You’re doing an amazing job as long as your child is happy fed and warm you’re doing above average especially considering the circumstances. I promise this won’t be forever although it seems like it is. Posting on here was the first step towards change. Things will get better. It will first be in very small small victories but then you’ll notice bigger and better victories. Be careful tho. Don’t do anything hasty with a few big victories. Always play it cool and always be humble. I promise you’re going to be okay. I’m so proud of you for reaching out. That’s a huge step.

[kel110 in reply to Grants]

Thank you x

[Suzie40]

Hiya, sorry to hear that you're struggling. How old are your children? I found that things became easier for me a single parent when mine both went to high school. My childcare costs disappeared and I was able to let them walk home and stay in the house alone for a while. They're 18 and 13 now and I also find myself having more free time in the evenings and on weekends because they're forever wanting to do things with their friends and not their Mum!

Going back to uni is a great idea and will certainly broaden your horizons career wise, as well as giving you access to better paid jobs. Could you look at open university courses that you could study in your own time? There might even be grants available to pay the fees?

With regards meeting someone, I know it's cliche but it'll happen when you're least expecting it. I was a single parent for many years until I met someone three years ago. He was working as a nurse in the place I was having counselling, and we got chatting. The very last place I thought I'd meet someone! Have you tried dating sites or is that a bit too weird?

[kel110 in reply to Suzie40]

Again, thank you xx

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello and welcome Kel110 to this very caring community. Grants is so correct, you have done a marvelous job in the last 6 years of raising another human being and giving her/him a loving home. Don't sell yourself short that's a wonderful achievement. On that note have you heard about Gingerbread - it is a charity that supports single parents and has local self help groups with like minded single parents. It is well worth looking around their website even if it's for information only and not joining a local group. That's how two friends of mine met as they both had a child each from previous relationships. They have now been married for 33 years. I am not necessarily telling you that you will meet your new partner there but it would be a way that you could get information/help and even friendship and support.

Please keep in touch as we would love to know how you are getting on. Good luck and best wishes.

MAS Nurse.

gingerbread.org.uk Helpline: 0808 802 0925 General enquiries: 0207 428 5424.

Email: [e-mail] Membership: [e-mail]

[kel110 in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Am overwhelmed that people have replied and offered suggestions I hadn't even considered!! Am a bit emotional - but in a good way!! I'll read your replies again later and investigate all your suggestions!! I want my situation to change but need to find the courage....thank you all again 💗